CURRENT FEEDBACK
OLD FEEDBACK
A reader writes:
YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT SAY "SKINNIES" IN THAT ARTICLE. NOT EVERYONE HAS PLAYED WHATEVER INANE VIDEO GAME YOU GOT THAT FROM, OR WILL OVERLOOK WHATEVER KIND OF GENERAL DEROGATORY OR STEREOTYPICAL REFERENCE THAT IS. WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!
To which the F&SN Critic responds:
The article in question is “I would have preferred to invent a lawnmower” (7-30-2002) in which I use the somewhat derogatory term “Skinnies.” Prompted by this very conscientious message I added the following post-script to the article:
“The U.S. Soldiers in Ridley Scott's "Black Hawk Down" (2001) consistently refer to the warring Somalis as ‘skinnies’ and I refer to them as such not in a derogatory manner but to stay within the vernacular of the film. If I have offended anyone I apologize. I find immense irony in a culture that ridicules the ‘overweight’ almost day and night, and then turns around and mocks the underfed. There's no pleasing some people.”
I would also like to add that the American soldiers do not seem to use the word in an entirely vicious manner, but with a note of sympathy, or at least pity. But perhaps I imagined this sympathy and am merely projecting my own morality onto the characters.
Also—and here I damage humor by explaining it—the article has a tone of silliness to it, partially achieved by using as many movie terms as possible to distance the words from the reality on which they are based. No Communist has ever, in his own words, set out to “crush capitalism,” and the use of “Red” when referring to them gives the article an antiquated feel that brings to mind the absurdities of the Cold War. Likewise, using the term “warring Somali” sounds like I’m talking about the real world and is too dark to be funny, but “skinny” is just something we heard in a movie. Put short, it’s okay to make fun of war movies, but it’s questionable to make fun of war.
Oh, and you should be able to find your Caps-Lock button on the left side of keyboard below Tab.
In your review you pretty much concluded that “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider” was a piece of crap, but not a complete piece of crap. I, on the other hand, hadn't been so insulted by a "movie" since I watched "Mission to Mars." “Tomb Raider” took 2 hours of my life that I can never get back and somebody owes me. I want those 2 hours back! But I'll never get them. Using your scale I would have to give this "movie" a half-star. The movie did play when the theater operators turned on the projector and there were people moving on the screen with sound, so I can't give it no stars for techincal incompetence. But, I'm afraid it was just "awful."
To which the F&SN Critic replies:
This particular email message, when gazed upon in its uncensored state, contains other choice descriptions of “Tomb Raider,” including “cinematic afterbirth,” but we at F&SN Movie Reviews try to run a family site.
In defense of my two-star rating I must admit that I found the action sequences in “Tomb Raider” to be in and of themselves entertaining in a purely kinetic way, not unlike a bad musical that features a good song or an effective dance routine. Also in “Tomb Raider’s” defense I don’t think it had any pretensions at being more than a silly, disposable adventure. I think for a film to “insult” me it usually has to feign depth or importance when none is in fact present, such as “Pearl Harbor” or “Titanic.” Even then a film can sometimes win me over by sheer energy and technique (like “Gladiator”).
As for wanting those two hours back, well, no one put a gun to your head and marched you Nazi-style into the theater. Try to look at those two hours as Edison might: don’t think of “Tomb Raider” as time wasted so much as learning another way you won’t have fun.
Another reader (coolguy363@hotmail.com) writes
Mr. Boring-Movie-Reviewer-Guy,
I read most of your reviews, and they're not that interesting. You lack a gimmick. Your reviews read like a poorly written text book.
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
To which the F&SN Critic responds:
Now that just hurts my feelings. Give my regards to coolguys 1 through 362 for me.