** (out of ****)
Starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Oded Fehr, Arnold Vosloo, Patricia Velazquez, and the Rock.
Directed & written by Stephen Sommers
2001 PG13
While “The Mummy Returns” has most of the same elements as “The Mummy” from 1996, it’s just not nearly as much fun. Both movies are dumb as can be, of course, and both involve square-jawed Brendan Fraser rescuing his woman from swarms of the undead. I guess this time around the energy is gone; the fights aren’t as exciting, the one-liners aren’t as funny, and everything feels routine. The flaw might be that the 1996 “Mummy” might simply not have had enough to it to require a repeat visit. Some jokes are only funny when they’re told once.
The 1996 “Mummy” is set in the 1920s and involves the vile Imhotep escaping from the grave to wreak havoc on the world, starting with a colorfully implausible Hollywood Egypt. In the end he is sent back to hell by a surly adventurer (Fraser), a mousy librarian (Rachel Weisz), and a brave Arab warrior (Oded Fehr). Now ten years have passed and Fraser and Weisz are married, living in a big London house, have a cute kid, and have lost their ability to make witty banter. Lucky for them they are rescued from their boredom by Fehr, who warns them that an evil cult plans to resurrect Imhotep again and more-or-less repeat everything that happened in the previous movie. Before long Imhotep and the cult have kidnapped their cute kid and Our Guys are chasing them across Egypt. The chase involves trains, camels, and a fanciful balloon that looks like it’s carrying a miniature Spanish galleon. Imhotep hurls computer-animated monsters of all variety at Our Guys, Our Guys kill them with guns, swords, and kung-fu, and then more come along, while Weisz’s cowardly brother (once again John Hannah) makes snide remarks.
Part of why Indiana Jones still holds our interest after getting into peril after peril is because of that occasional roll of the eyes, or grimace, or sigh that implies “here I go again.” There’s a good one of those in “The Mummy Returns,” when Fraser and Fehr, about to confront the bad guys, have a very casual conversation about who gets which gun. Do you want the shotgun, Fraser asks, and Fehr says no I’ll take the Tommy gun, and Fraser says really? The delivery is what makes it work.
I don’t mind the logical errors in “The Mummy Returns,” like when Fehr claims that Imhotep will trigger “the next apocalypse.” I must have missed the first apocalypse, although Fehr is Muslim and I’ll be the first to admit ignorance of a hefty chunk of their faith. I don’t mind the scientific errors, like when Fraser outruns the sunrise. I don’t mind the movie’s general air of absurdity, because it has the right tone for all its goofiness. “The Mummy Returns” can best be described as “blah.” You ask a friend what he thought of a movie and words like “okay” and “alright” and “I guess” keep coming out amidst shrugs and aimless, bored glances. “The Mummy Returns” is definitively two stars. It’s not bad; it’s just unnecessary.
Finished October 20th, 2002
Copyright © 2002 Friday & Saturday Night