A Comparison of Independant UHF Channels in South Florida From the Mid-1980's Through the Mid-1990's and Their Current State as Network Affiliates

A great many things were present in the 1980s. Transformers toys, elementary school and having fun with my mom at the beach were among the any things I experienced in my childhood. When I couldn’t go outside and play, I was stuck inside with my Nintendo. When I got tired of that, there was always TV.
We didn’t always have cable; there were times my folks didn’t want it ‘cuz they didn’t have the time to watch it. Without cable, I wouldn’t have seen things like Nickelodeon or Showtime’s soft-core porn. When the cable was gone, there were still a few channels worth watching –some network, some not. This is a channel-by-channel review of those stations and 3 show subjects, with each subject given a short review. The stations have changed over the years, so each station has an added status update.

Ah, Channel 33: the light fare on the UHF dial. This channel seemed like a calm friend who has a lot of interesting movies to show. It knew how to laugh, cry, have fun and it actually cared about the world around it despite not having a news segment. Here are a few samples of its programming:
TWO DIFFERENT WRESTLING SHOWS

Chief among these wrestling shows was WWF (the World Wrestling Federation, now WWE [World Wrestling Entertainment]). You had the Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Savage, Jesse Ventura (pre-governorship) and “Mean” Gene Okerlund. While the legends of this age were great then, the real kick for me was the female counterpart to WWF—GLOW.
Yes, GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling) featured women beating the ever-lovin’ mess out of each other. It was great to watch, especially the comic segments. More importantly, the characters were insane: wrestlers like Palestine (the Muslim girl who prayed in the ring and wrestled sans veil) and teams like the Hooker Twins (Hollywood and Vine) really made the show a raging success.

 PROGRAMMING FROM THE FAR EAST

While Japan was someplace that usually made our toys, it was also a place that made one of my greatest heroes: Godzilla. The Green Meanie himself could always be seen on a Saturday, laying waste to Tokyo again. If it wasn’t Godzilla, then I’d watch the old episodes of Ultraman and Sectorman. Ultimately the real stuff didn’t come until Sunday—the day of the Samurai.
“Samurai Sunday” still makes me smile to this very day: on any given Sunday, Channel 33 would show a kung-fu movie at 6pm EST. This was a bonding moment for my father, brother and I as we watched martial arts movies in the afternoon. What made it even better was the fact that after watching the movie, my brother and I swore that we were kung-fu masters. We practiced in the backyard as the sun went down, making a beautiful end to a beautiful weekend.

 EVEN-HANDED MOVIE SCREENINGS

Most people thought that the stuff on Channel 33 was crap; such an assumption is not wholly true. Yes, Channel 33 had its share of action flicks, but they balanced it out with touching family fare. One set, they’ll show Conan the Destroyer; the next set would probably be the touching Cher film Mask. Another example would be a showing of Friday the 13th part III after the movie Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?, showing a true gift for broadening the horizons of the budding movie watcher.

CURRENT STATUS:

The channel that was once WBFS-33 was bought out by United Paramount Network and is now UPN-33. The network affiliate has been attacked numerous times by commentators and comedians alike for its struggle to gain urban Black viewership. UPN continues to take the urban Black market by making shows like FOX's syndicated episodes of "Martin", "The Parkers" (with Countess Vaughn from UPN’s former flagship show, R&B singer Brandy’s pet project "Moesha"). UPN has also branched out into science fiction (something WBFS would never do) and has tried to work with not one but TWO Star Trek franchises since its initial broadcast date: "Star Trek: Voyager" and "Star Trek: Enterprise." Both featured chesty women in tight-fitting bodysuits and both are stains on the Star Trek series.
On a lighter note, UPN has started up a news segment that shows several times a day, most prominently at 11pm EST. The show seems to pull from the AP wire and journalism schools to fill their newscast. Such is the quality of the program that it’s now referred to as “the Nigga News”, a designation given by rap star Jay-Z.

If WBFS-33 and WDZL-39 were suckled by a she-wolf and raised to be the joint founders of Rome, then the sacking of Rome would have involved multiple explosions, ninjas and talking chariots. The more spirited of the two independent channels on the UHF dial; WDZL’s call letters are an abbreviation of the word “dazzle.” If you wanted shows that kicked ass, then this was your channel. The following subject choices are a sample of Channel 39’s programming.
SITCOMS AND DRAMAS

Just like Channel 33, Channel 39 was a great investor in the new and syndicated television shows of yesterday. Comedy shows like "I Dream of Jeannie" and "Wild, Wild West" were available to me, and still timely despite their being 20 years old at the time I watched them. Luckily, the newer programming of channel could eliminate the static fashions of those days.
I could watch many different shows in a given afternoon, most of them decent. "Swan’s Crossing", "Dangerous Women" (a “women in prison” vehicle) and the David Hasselhoff show "Baywatch" were some of the fare during the daytime. When the night rolled in, that’s when the laughs came out.
Two of the best comedies ever made have to be "Night Court" and "Married…With Children." Each of these shows has cemented their place in my mind for having some of the best moments. The fact that I could watch the shows with my parents without a problem was great. More importantly, my sense of humor was warped by the stylings of characters like prosecutor R. Dan Fielding and shoe salesman Al Bundy. Thanks to these guys, I never have a dull moment.

 BLOOD, SEX AND VIOLENCE

Channel 39 appealed to the primal side in all of us. Blood, bullets and babes were part of its programming motives. You couldn’t tell the programming guys to change the movies; they’d just laugh at you and show a Chuck Norris movie marathon for spite. That’s the kind of people they were.
They also had an eye for obscure horror flicks. Classics like A Nightmare on Elm Street and Poltergeist played alongside B-movies like Troll and Tourist Trap. Everyone who ever had a movie played on that channel got their chance. One production company had more movies on that channel than any other: Golan-Globus.
The Israeli founders of Golan-Globus ensured that the movies they made were suitable for television and video consumption, with a minimum of post-editing. That was the genius of the plan: to make a movie to the limit of decency without crossing it. This plan could be easily seen in movies like Invasion USA and American Ninja (starring Michael Dudikoff). Movies that barely cross the line of censorship are by far a worthy hallmark of Channel 39.

 SCI-FI AND FANTASY OVERLOAD

While channel 39 made an effort to place as much action and violence on TV as it could without being shut down, they decided to further expand on the definition of action and included science fiction. Many great programs and movies were shown on channel 39 thanks to this decision. Shows like "Super Force" (a cop in an exoskeleton battle suit), "My Secret Identity" (starring a young Jerry O’Connell) and "Superboy" (with Stacy Haiduk) were shown next to 80’s heavyweights like "The A-Team" and "Knight Rider."
Even better, some sci-fi and fantasy movies made it to Channel 39, due to their violent content. I first saw Aliens on the small screen, right after Robocop and Cyborg. Hell, I was also introduced to Kevin ‘Hercules’ Sorbo and Lucy ‘Xena’ Lawless through the "Paramount Pictures’ Action Pack." Each violent sci-fi movie and fantasy show made sure I was gonna become a sci-fi junkie for life.

CURRENT STATUS:

The WB-39 WBZL (formerly WDZL-39) has fared far better than its competing network affiliate, UPN-33. While it also tried to grab the Black audiences with "The Wayans’ Brothers" and the excellent Robert Townsend show "The Parent Hood", the network executives at the WB realized that their fortunes lay in the path of its forefather. It mimicked WDZL’s move and started to work towards including science fiction and fantasy into its lineup, while staying true to the standard drama formula.
Under such requirements, the cult status of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" was born. Not only did folks tune in every night to watch the exploits of the teenage vampire hunter and her crew, but they also watched the spinoff show about said vampire hunter’s vampire boyfriend "Angel." Not all viewers related to shows involving the occult, so that was balanced out by shows like the family-oriented "7th Heaven," "Everwood" and "Smallville," a look back at the early days of Clark Kent aka Superman (note: WDZL-39 already covered this ground with "Superboy"). One must keep in mind as viewers continue to watch the WB, none of it would be possible if not for the network’s first great show, "Dawson’s Creek."
The Dawson (played by James Van Der Beek) and his crew of promiscuous teens had many a viewer glued to the TV, remembering their days of repressed teenage sexuality. I have never watched a single episode without my brother narrating the program, so I can’t tell you how bad it was. With a theme song by Paula Cole, it had to be!
The WB still runs strong with supplemental shows like "ElimiDate," "Blind Date", my favorite show "Cheaters" (when your Blind Date gets better…and then gets worse!) along with the old standby of "The Jerry Springer Show" (when there’s no help for you at all). Rest assured, the WB-39 will be around to showcase the need for sex and violence while maintaining the fine line of decency set forth so many years ago.

The Winnah: WB-39 WBZL!

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