If Walkers Were Like Drivers

If walkers were like drivers,
no sidewalk would be safe
-- all self-control would chafe,
and there'd be few survivors.

Old, little, doddery ladies
would kick us in our shins,
while baring toothless grins,
like hags in black mercedes.

And rowdy boys, with scarred hides,
would knock us off our feet
and dash off down the street,
like pimpled kids on joy rides.

Big, hairy, rough-faced drifters
would hotly blow a fuse
on hearing beggars' coos,
like losers snubbing lifters.

Now, please, do not start squawking!
Just take life in your stride,
relax, enjoy the ride
-- or stop and take up walking.