missing

Being apart from the one you love can be tough, no matter how great your relationship is, or how well the two of you manage to stay in touch and keep the fire alive! Most LDR lovers go through periods where the distance feels huge, and the world seems a vast place... some people even question whether it is worth fighting on...

Although it depends on the individual relationship, i would say that giving in, and giving up, is the easy option, but will not benefit you in the long run. Giving up on someone you love so much could really leave you even more lonely and dissatisfied... fighting on and finding ways to get through the tough times, really makes you feel stronger, and brings the two of you even closer together....

It can also become easy to blame yourself if times are hard, and although self reflection can be a good thing, you cannot blame yourself if you tried your best, Distance puts a lot of pressue on the two people involved, some relationships make it, some sadly don't, but often its factors out of your hands which makes it fade away, nothing you were to blame for.

My motto has become: Life is too short, and if you want something, stick with it, work hard, and your efforts will be rewarded! Once you have found someone who deserves all that you can give, and is really worth the pain, then you have found the one, and you should never let them go!

I tend to treat the distance as a test....it makes you see exactly how good a couple you are, and as with all tests..if you pass, your world becomes a better place and you get the greatest gift of all..... love! :)

* I find taking up a new hobby can really take your mind off of how lonely you feel! Sports, running, going to the gym, swimming etc, or relaxation/yoga are very good hobbies to take up as they will not only make you healthier, but will make you sexy and fit for your love :)!

Sometimes its easy for us to think that drowning your sorrows with drink, or smoking or drugs will make the pain go away, but really the short-term gratification and the long-term problems that come from this kind of solution is really not worth it... you are giving yourself another problem and not really solving the first one.

Try and do something more beneficial; read a classic novel, take up art lessons/workshops, learn a new language, etc. Or, volunteer at a hospital, or school etc for a few hours a week!

Trying something more spiritual, like yoga. tai chi, relaxation etc could also help you cope spiritually with the loss of your companion!

Also, keep a journal about how you are feeling, right down all the things you feel and things on your mind, but also good points of the day etc!

* Having some spiritual time with your partner may help. Try and arrange a time where you both think of one another at the same time, say for 20minutes 7pm sunday evening... then you will both know that the other is thinking of you... this can help bring the two of you closer.

Also, i like to look up at the stars and think of my love, knowing he is under the same sky, looking at the same stars, it makes the world a lot smaller, and he a little bit closer to me!

* Try a natural/herbal remedy!
Sometimes the stress and strain can be so hard that it affects your sleeping and eating patterns, which in turn can really make your life even worse...
Essential oils such as Neroli and pine oils can relax your nerves and worries! Also herbal flower remedies like "Violet Butterfly" by the Australian Living Essence company are designed to calm your emotions and help you to overcome heartache!
Try looking into your local health shop or got to a herbalist and see if they have anything to offer you to relieve your stress and emotions!!

* Pamper Yourself!
Treat yourself to something nice after every week you go without your guy etc...a nice new top, or C.D or have your nails done, have a haircut etc. It shows you in a practical way what you have achieved and rewards you so you feel a bit better :)!

A really good pampering on those difficult stinker days is good, Go to a beauty salon and have a facial, or a massage to really relax yourself and also relieve the tensions! or alternatively buy your love something nice/treat them to something special, just to show them you care!!!

* Visiting online forums/websites of other online couples/long distance relationships/loneliness can help as not only are there lots of people in the same boat as you with lots of advice and experience to share, but it also helps you talk about your problems with people who know what you are going through. You also get to offer advice and your views to help others out too!

www.lovingyou.com has a great bunch of forums on these issues!

* Acupressue is supposed to be an amazing why to relieve stress and tension, and you can also do a lot of self massage, so you dont even need to visit a specialist if you can't afford to!
Look on search engines for online sites about acupressure or go to a library/bookstore to get a book on this remedy and pick up some of the easy massage techniques to do everytime you are feeling upset/emotinally frayed!

Aromatherapy can also help to relax you and aid restful sleep and a balance of emotions!

* Make Plans!!
I find planning your next visit /time together is very rewarding! Think of the places you want to go, what preparation you need to do for it, book a holiday away somewhere, look at brochures, plan an extravagant meal and practice it to perfection, buy "welcome home" gifts or presents for your love etc... Discuss things with your partner (obviously don't tell them the surprises but tell them how excited you are about seeing them again soon, and all the things you want to do, share your "meeting again" fantasies together !!)

* Try and not be "addicted" to your love, although you two share a deep connection it doesn't mean you aren't yourself anymore, you have your own identity and many things that are just about you, try and expand these, or focus on them, in order to not become reliant upon your partner too much, especially when separated, this will help to lessen the "cravings" somewhat that you have for them.