People who self harm, like eating disorders, don't come from completely different walks of life. Most self harmers are female, but this may be because male sufferers feel more ashamed to seek help. There are many different types of self harm, the most common form is cutting, followed by burning, picking, pulling hair, head and body banging, bruising... It doesnt matter which type it is, all of them are equally as harmful, and all of them show that the person is hurting a lot inside.
There are many causes, you must remember that self harm is NOT the cause, its the effect of a trigger. It could be the result of a history of sexual/mental/physical abuse from friends or family members. It could be due to extrememly low self esteem, wanting to be perfect, wanting to escape the mental pain, to feel more in control of their life etc etc, there are so many reasons.
Self harmers are usually very ashamed of what they do, they may themselves as freaks, and will therefore refuse to admit they have a problem and seek help. The longer they leave it, the harder it is to stop, if they want to stop that is. Sometimes people assume that self harmers want to stop.... well most of the time they don't. It has become a part of their life, a way to cope with painful experiences or feelings. Giving that up would mean they would have to deal with them, without resorting to injuring themselves. It can be done, everyone can beat it, but the hardest part is actually wanting to. For a long time, self injurers can be convinced that hurting themselves is actually good, because this way they can cope. Cutting themselves is a good thing. And for a while, it might even seem that way, but in reality, it isnt at all. In reality, the person is going through some very painful times, and is unable to cope. Sometimes hurting yourself can be a distraction from life, get away from it all and focus on the pain, or the blood, or whatever you are doing to yourself.
The longer someone self-injures, the longer it takes to recover from it. It is a long hard process, which the person needs a lot of support from friends and family to keep going. Sometimes it can be very hard to admit that you need help, because for so long you have convinced yourself that you are invincable and cannot be affected by anything. Asking for help is probably the hardest step. Especially if you already have a fear of rejection...
If you know someone who you think may be self harming, the worst thing you can do is confront him/her and be angry and shout about what they are doing to themselves and how it is stupid etc, because it will most likely make them feel even worse. The best way to approach him/her is by finding some time, sitting down in a quiet area and explaining to the person that you are concerned because of xxx, and you want to help. Do not offer solutions, do not expect the person to be able to stop immediately. Encourage the person to seek professional help and tell him/her that you will support any decision she makes. |
