THE SCOOP: we moved into our pad last wednesday. We are in Bucerias (the "s" is silent), 18 km north of Puerto Vallarta (PV) airport. Bucerias (pop 5,000) is low key: Mexican, cobblestone streets, lots of trees & flowers, main square on the ociean and an endless brown sand beach (good swimming). Two Mariachi bands roam the 5 or 6 seafront restaurants each day. Our holiday appartment is 3 short blocks from the beach and about 10 mins. walk from the main square. We are up a hill affording ocean, mountain, palm tree and sunset views. We have 2 bedrooms, DAILY MAID SERVICE (in our dreams), hot water, a full sized fridge that keeps the beer cold, a roof-top terrace (with commanding view of the bay) and a small swimming pool. It is fairly quiet: at night we listen to crickets, gekos, the ocean and the twirling of the ceiling fan. Mexican music prevailed on Saturday evening. There are no mosquitos. It is a half hour bus ride into the attractive city of Puerto Vallarta. To the north are some beautiful beaches which we have not yet visited. We swim every day. Our caretaker is called Jesus ("hey zeus").

WHAT IS THE CATCH? The appartment furnishings are basic but adequate: bare light bulbs dangling from the ceiling (we later made lampshades), plastic table and chairs and the ugliest red vinyl couch in Christiandom. The area around the pool needs a paint job and clean-up (hopefully later in Nov). It is still warm (30-32C) but will slowly cool to 27C by January. The beach was affected by a September storm and lost sand and damaged some waterfront patios and stairs. The beach towards town is a little scruffy. The ocean water is still churned up from the rainy season; apparently, the water will become clear once the rivers dry up in nov-dec. The nearby resorts issue plastic bracelets to their guests in order to keep the riff-raff (us) from crashing their facilities. Tequila prices are high (crop failure) but Bacardi rum is cheap.

It is not paradise here. The beaches are not the world´s best but life ain´t too bad here.

TRAVEL NOTES

¿QUE HORA ES? We have enough trouble keeping track of what day it is. Bucerias is officially on Mountain Time. Nearby PV is on Central Time. We went off daylight savings time on Sunday. All we know is when the sun goes down, it is Bacardi time!

MARIACHI MADNESS: Apparently, the going rate for mariachis in PV is 1 USD per band member per song. So if you allow an eight member band to play a couple of heartbreak ballads at your table, you´ll have something to really cry about.

FREE LUNCH: The incredibly graceful pelicans dominate the waterfront but we´ve seen a number of frigate birds. The latter have the biggest wingspan (proportionate to their size) of all birds but they often steal fish from other birds.

VOCABULARY BOOSTER: Sheila labeled plenty of household itmes with Spanish names on masking tape including la palmera (palm tree) outside our bedroom window.

IT HAS BEEN DISCOVERED: Americans and Canadians have pushed prices up around here. Homes in nearby Sayulita are advertised between 170,000 and 600,000 USD!

UPCOMING EVENTS: Day of the dead on November 2. Mariachi Festival on November 22 in PV.

FOR THE RECORD

Banana Index: 10 for 1 USD

Tortilla Index: 2-3 kilos for 1 USD

Cucaracha (cockroach) count: 2 (in our appartment)

PUERTO VILLARTA, MEXICO. JANUARY 30,2001.

* We passed the 3 month mark at the beach in ONE place. It has been a "grind"; day in, day out.

* The daily "grind": Sunshine. 28C. A couple of hours under the palm trees at the beach. Swimming with pelicans. Reading, scrabble or tile rummy. Sunsets from the terrace. Banana flambés. Weekly trips into Puerto Vallarta. Low-tide coastal walks. Excursions to other beaches.

* The "Villa": We are very happy with our comfortable appartment (Vista Mar, Bucerias) with its excellent view of the bay. Sheila´s home decorating skills were put to work, wall hangings, cushions and the innovative use of chicken wire for light shades. The antics of the superintendent (Jesus) provide endless entertainment.

*The real story of Jesus:

- The propane tank (cooking and hot water) lasts 5 days only. When it runs out, Jesus knocks on a tenant´s door, borrows money then disappears into town for an indefinite period and sometimes returns with a full tank. The tenants formed a gas fund last week.

- Jesus didn´t pay the electricity bill in October. Our power was cut-off. Jesus ran a thin cord across the street to pull power from the neighbours. Jesus supposedly visited the power company and paid the bill, they promised power would be reinstated mañana. To this day (3 months on) we get our power from across the street.

- Jesus double booked several apartments for the winter with repeated assurances that the apartments were available. In one case (a sad and comic story) an unusual turn of events saved his skin.

- The story of Jesus falling out of a palm tree while saving his fighting rooster and the episode of his wife dragging him home at 4:00 a.m. from his mistress are now all local legends.

* Fiesta; The two week Bucerias fair in January was exhausting for most. We had a real midway, fireworks day and night, cultural events, plenty of drinking and ear plug defying live music that ran till 3:00 a.m.. To our relief, the burro barracho (drunken donkey) served free punch and gut wrenching cane liqour but the donkey didn´t have to drink any of it. With all the activity, the local dog population became hoarse and needed a couple of days to sleep it off.

NOTES

* Local Materials: Sea shells and beer caps adorned our little christmas tree. We were happy to have Karen, Laura and Andrew over Christmas. They experienced the worst winter weather in this area in 20 or 30 years (2 days of rain). Kathy and Addy visited us twice. Glenn´s dad made an appearance.

* Call us Bimbos: Wonderbread and Bimbo are the two bread companies here. We´ve gone off bread and can understand why Mexicans eat tortillas.

* Gone Native: We think that a tortilla holder/warmer is essential in the home.

* Night-time Entertainment: Glenn running in his underwear, bucket of water in hand, in the middle of the night, chasing communicative alley cats.

* Pet Story: We adopted a huge spider and had kids collect flies to feed it.

* Another Pet Story: Gunther, one of the Canadian snowbirds, buys and raises rabbits while he stays here. He eats plenty of rabbit stew before he returns to Thunder Bay. ¿What´s up doc?

*No Challenge: The swimming in Banderas Bay is shark-free. The year round dolphin population keeps them out. We have seen plenty of dolphins and humpback whales, sometimes from our living room.

*Largest Brains: Respect is due to the whale. They have huge brains of great complexity and are not bent on the destruction of our planet.

* Feeding Frenzy: We put "se vende" (for sale) signs on our bikes at the local Sunday market and triggered a near riot of interest. The bikes sold within a couple of minutes. With 12,000 km of experience, our bikes that cost 225 UD and sold for 80 USD, seem like they were a good investment.

* Stress Test: We visited a couple of time-shares. We admit that greed (100 USD cash incentives) was the motivator. The Mayan Palace really put the gears to us, a hard sell. Too much stress; we decided that we are not well suited to the rigours of the working world.

* What´s Next: We shake off the sand in a couple of weeks and head for Copper Canyon (Mexico) hiking, then a tour (not on bikes) through Central Mexico.

FOR THE RECORD

2001 tent nights: 1

Cockroach count: 2 (none seen since we first moved in)

Power outages: too many to count

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QUICK GUIDE TO WINTERING IN MEXICO (ON THE PACIFIC)

WHERE: We picked Bucerias on the recommendation of a friend who had lived there a couple of years ago. It has plenty of pluses (proximity to Puerto Vallarta, decent beach, cleanliness, etc.) but we'd recommend Rincon de Guayabitos (40 km further north) with its better beaches, less expensive restauraunts and more Mexican flavour. Other Alternatives would include the Barra de Navidad/Melaque area. Further south, the climate gets noticeably hotter (e.g. Puerto Escondido) and would be another choice. Further north (e.g. Mazatlan) tempperatures cool and the American influence increases.

COSTS: We paid about 400 USD/month for our appartment (utiliities included)and all other living costs werre about 450 USD/month for two of us. Most other visitors spent more than us: we didn't eat out much. Mexico is reasonanable but no longer a cheap destination.

FINDING ACCOMODATION: We wandered the streets and made inquiries. The reasonably priced accomodation was in short supply. Bargains are hard to find by January. Rental properties listed on the internet are normally high end properties.

FOOD SHOPPING: There is a surprisingly good selection of foodstuffs available in Mexico, especially in larger centres (e.g. Puerto Vallarta). Many foods are cheaper than in the USA or Canada. Vegetables, fruit and fish are still bargains. Booze prices are lowish. Buy beer by the carton of 20!

WHAT TO BRING: Recreational & pastimes materials are useful and not always available locally (or of mediocre quality). That might include surf boards, boogie boards, snorkelling equipment, swim goggles, FM radio. The obvious personal stuff, clothing, etc: we rarely wore socks or long pants. We bought playing cards locally and made our own backgammon game, tile rummy and scrabble games from local materials. We read about a book a week. There are used english book stores and some book-exchanges around.

OUTFITTING AN APPARTMENT: Other than furniture (provided), this is a basic list of household and kitchen items required for a 3-5 month stay. Appartments will provide varying amounts and quality of these items. More expensive accomodation would provide more that our place did. The items with a "*" were supplied by our paticular appartment. The balance was purchased locally and cost about 150 USD:

ITEMS WE WOULD REQUIRE: