24September2003

I watched “Signs” (starring Mel Gibson) tonight with my wife. I like that movie because it gives me hope that maybe someday I will believe again. I am troubled by so many little things about the church I sometimes don’t have much confidence I will ever have a firm testimony again. I recently got my temple recommend renewed. It has been over a year (I think) since I last had one. In response to many of the temple recommend questions I felt like I had to answer - “I desire to believe”. I haven’t been to the temple since getting the recommend because I don’t know if I am really ready. I am scared I will be offended and just make my plight in the church worse. I am trying to study the scriptures and hope my faith will be restored to a level that can overcome my doubts and questions.