Here we have brand new spy satellite images of the Goddamn Green Smurfstm in action. More pictures are rumored in existence, but none have surfaced as of yet.



Updates are expected as this story develops.

Updated Satellite Pictures


Smurf Intellegence has released this picture to the public. They have deduced that this is either a freaky mating ritual or some kind of maniacal torture these green smurfs have created to pull secret information from even the most unwilling of green smurfs, but Intellegence cannot be sure of either of these hypotheses.
Furthermore, it is this reporter's opinion that these green smurfs are developing a sort of vocal weapon to overthrow their enemies that range from their blue counterparts to man himself. But man will never be absolutely sure...

6-15-02


Here we have a female green smurf prostitute showing off her "goods." I can tell you that our male informants that supplied this picture were reluctant to part with it.


This smurf just happened to get out of the bathroom before this picture was taken. And let me tell you, that's not exactly a national geographic he's holding in his hands...


Ha ha, he missed...


This green smurf seems to have found a way around his green protective coating. If this information leaks, the smurfs will be able to change their colors at will, making them much more difficult to monitor, leaving the Earth open for an undefendable attack.


Even though this smurf isn't exactly a green smurf, he bears a close relation to the forefathers of the smurfs before the two factions split into the blue and the green smurfs.

04-29-05

It's been 3 very long years since I was allowed to update the facts of the existence of GGS. Sufficed to say, something federal came up and then I was in a holding cell. It took a very long time for anyone to even look at my research.


Papa Smurf seems to be pointing at something. Perhaps he's pointing at the many blue smurf slaves he keeps in holding cells chained to the floor. We'll never really know.


Here, we have Papa Smurf securing the perimeter before settling in to a comfy bed. That Papa Smurf runs a pretty strict shift.


They can rebuild him. They have the power...


Again, we see Papa Smurf pointing at something. Recon has been lacking as of late due to funds, but we believe that he may be pointing at a blue smurf spy that needed his knees to be "taken care of."


Of all the new recon pictures, this one worries me the most. Here, we have an example of a supersonic resonance amplifer originating somewhere from the "Brainy" area (throat) and is being used as a weapon. This must have been a practice attempt because the other green smurf was not badly damaged, just put to sleep, but with this power in the green smurfs' hands, the humans and blue smurfs will soon fall prey to the new overlords.


It seems as though this girl smurf is trying to bribe another with a vanity portrait. If this trade-off works, we may be able to combat the green smurfs by offering them bad characatures.

This Picture, taken as surveillance at Blue Smurf Kingdom, deeply saddens me. I had hoped that the blue smurfs would be our allies in the great war, but it seems that the blue smurfs feed off of human flesh, as demonstrated by this blue smurf. I feel sorry for that poor kid.


I have found a website that features an idea from a person that suggests relations with the Smurfs (the blue ones) and a Communist faction, henceforth the idea of Communist Smurfs. Now the question is: is mankind "better off" with Communist Smurfs or Goddamn Green Smurfs?

Green Smurfs - 101 completely acurate descriptions of some of the Goddamn Green Smurfs' long lost relatives, the Green Smurfs

The Truth is out there - A combination of Star Trek and X-Files, with a cameo from the green smurfs


"Go Back Home to Your Hole! You Wanna Go Home Don't You? To Your Home? Just GO!!!"