The Book of Repetition
Which Was News To Me

1:1

 In the beginning was 1, and addition, and the Sphere of Glory. And lo, they were 3, but they did not know.
1:2

After 1 was, 2 were. And verily, multiplication and the Apes of Justice were as well. And lo, 1 and 2 did multiply, but their union was unfruitful.

1:3

 

 Soon after were 3, and they did know that they were, and with them were exponents and the Man who was Fish. And they did bow before him, and he was dubbed FishGod.

1:4

 

 And behold 2 and 3 did get it on exponent-style, and 8 were born. And with 8 was nothing significant.
1:5 The Universe did gasp, and behold, this was fruitful. FishGod did become fish, and as he did split, so too was H born from the thigh of 8.
1:6 FishGod did split into infinite fish, swimming in the Sphere of Tiny Glory. And FishGod was well-pleased.
1:7 So well-pleased was FishGod that he did take up all the pleasure. And where there were 1 and 2 and 3, there were none. And lo, H too was gone, but it was the last. And so it shall always be.
1:8 FishGod was sore dispersed, and his happiness did fade to nothing, for it was perfect. 1 was again, and he did remember, and he did pass down his remembrance.
1:9 And when H was, he did fashion the 5 Holy Laws. And the Apes did enforce the laws, and FishGod did persist in near-perfect bliss, in the infinite spiral to perfection.
1:10 And in due time there was man and such. And lo, there was sufficient pleasure for all.
1:11 And to man did the Apes of Justice distribute the 5 Laws of H, which were and are thus:
1:12 Firstly, all systems which are coherent are true. And behold, because of this truth, H shall be the first letter of every law. Thou shalt call this the Law of H.
1:13 Secondly, 0=1. And behold, because of this truth, all heresy is false. Thou shalt call this the Law of Heresy.
1:14 Thirdly, 2+2=0. And behold, because of this truth, all hearsay is true. Thou shalt call this the Law of Hearsay.
1:15 Fourthly, 3=1. And behold, because of this truth, lest thou speak, think and mime a thing, it shall not happen. Thou shalt call this the Law of Happenology.
1:16 Fifthly, happiness is inversely proportional to complexity, and the number of existents of inversely proportional to happiness. And behold, because of this truth, happiness is conserved. Thou shalt call this the Law of Conservation of Happiness.
1:17 And the Apes did vanish into the jungle, and the sons of man did promptly forget their words.

 

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