What Would FishGod Do?
A question pondered by thousands of people each day; WWFGD? and in this forum, find out! You supply questions, and the Messiah himself along with his faithless Apostates will supply the answer. You can also reply to other's posts by simply emailing the WebMaster.
What the hell is FishGodism? -Ashley
FishGodism is a religion/ethical system revealed to me by the fishes. It revolves around the concept that in the beginning, the universe was nothing but tiny, infinitely happy and simple fish. As the fish got together and structured themselves into bricks, statues, people, tanks, etc, the world got decidedly less happy (in fairness to bricks and statues, it was mainly the people's and the tanks' fault).
I intend to bring the world back to simplicity one person at a time. How? By teaching people how to use their FishGod-given instincts and find their Niche.
What is the major point of FishGodism?
FishGodism is an entirely voluntary religion, and it's purpose is to make your little corner of the world simpler, and thus better. You follow its rules, you break things down into happy fish, bada bing bada boom, everybody's wins.
All of the scripture is intended to encourage people to make their lives more enjoyable and easier to live by Any Mean Necessary. No, that doesn't mean looting and pillaging in the streets, unless your vision of serene bliss includes a humiliating trip through the court system, followed by a lifetime of prison food and ass rape. On the off chance that that is your vision of serene bliss, go for it. Just stay the hell away from me.
How many people are already involved in FishGodism?
This one's a toughie. Some True Believers have yet to purchase a holy text, while some have purchased holy texts and have inexplicably failed to convert (and that's not even getting into the vocal minority of Misguided Fanatics, such as certain Webmasters we all know). Put it all together, count each person once, and you get around 20. That's damned impressive for a cult about fish, if I do say so myself.
Won't you burn in hell for this?
Probably not, knock on wood.
Where can I get FishGod merchandise?
As of this writing, there's not much out there besides YHVH Cha Cha Cha itself; no clothing, camping gear, pre-branded livestock, etc. are available yet. For now your best bet is the Old School FishGodism method of 1) buying a copy of the holy text and 2) making a WWFGD bracelet from a younger sibling's beading set. For details on getting a copy of the newly updated YHVH Cha Cha Cha (2nd Edition), send an e-mail entitled "Pamphlet request" to goldencowshrine@yahoo.com.
How did this religion come about?
While talking with a few friends over some coffee, I received a revelation about the universe. I realized that I am the incarnation of FishGod, and that it is my lot to lead individuals into fishier lives by revealing the great truths of reality. Naturally, the first hurdle to clear was figuring out the great truths of reality.
I began a period of intense creativity and inspiration, and when I was done, I was left with the first complete copy of YHVH Cha Cha Cha scrawled on notebook paper that is now lost to history. Realizing that I had been in direct contact with the Sphere of Glory, I took the word as divine law and began selling it in pamphlet format for $1.50 a pop (to defray printing costs). Perhaps not the most logical strategy, but significantly more sound than wandering off alone into the desert.