5words

As you know, I read many and various message boards regularly. The one thing I've noticed is that the topics in so many different venues are not so very different. Lately, two topics in particular seem to head the list. Elitism and a cry for a return to the "Old days." One of those I even posted on here recently.

I've also noticed lately here in Yahoo, the hot topic in channels seems to be "How can we fix the mess that passes for Yahoo Gor? Can we go back to the way it was in the *Old Days*?"

I think part of the problem with that question is that, depending on how long you have been here, your image of the "Old Days" will be different from the next person's.

Since I can only speak from my own perspective, that is the yardstick I will use. In my eyes, the "Old Days" happened before the "big change of '98" Since there are so few of us left here who remember those days, I will tell you a bit about it.

I've been told that it is impossible to form a community here in Yahoo. That may be true now, but I recall a time when a community is exactly what existed here. There were about 8 or so Gorean rooms, each with it's own "regular crowd." Everyone knew everyone else, people had their battles and intrigues, but there was an underlying current of community. A bond formed of respect and regard for the ideals of Gor.

One thing that is often forgotten is the fact that in that community, there were always those who did not claim the label of Gorean. They were simply friends. Dreamer, Wetworks, Jack the Ripper, Master Eagle, hottie and many others who visited quite often. While none of them claimed to be Gorean, they were welcomed here. They were (and to some of us, still are) friends. More often than not, the questions they asked forced us to dig deeper within ourselves to find those answers.

It wasn't perfect, nothing is. But that unspoken bond was there. For most of us, it still exists. There is a recognition when we run into each other. A smile, a nod, sometimes a hug. We're bound to each other by a shared history.

It's interesting to note, that when a couple of us "fossils" get together and begin reminiscing, the new ones in the group fall silent. Many have expressed a wish to have "been here back then."

What made that time so special?

Natural order put into practice.

The men were strong. Strong of will, dedicated to knowledge (most if not all had read all of the books more than once) secure in their mastery. They did not rely on women to teach them, they did the work themselves. They accepted the responsibility of leadership and in doing that, allowed us women to simply be... female.

To those of you who did not experience this, I can only feel sadness. There is such comfort and peace and freedom in knowing exactly where you fit in the grand scheme of things. You could enter any Gorean place here and know exactly what to expect.

Sadly, those days are gone now.

So what caused the change? We could blame it on Yahoo's change of format. That would be partly true. Many couldn't use the new java format and moved on. But in a way, that change brought some of us even closer. I remember vividly the weeks spent following Torjarl (Brackus) from one chat site to another like gypsies searching for a new home for the 3MG.

It was about that time that a new "catch-phrase" became popular.

Be Gorean or Be Gone.

I can't think of five other words that have caused so much damage. It started (as so many do) in IRC and filtered into most other Gorean venues. What began as a flip comment quickly became the "phrase du jour."

How did five simple words cause damage? Two ways.

First of all, it excludes. It excludes everyone who is not Gorean from interacting in Gorean places. One of the things that made the "old days" what they were is that you were not required to be Gorean to be here. The only requirement was a respect for our ways. New people were allowed to visit and ask questions to determine whether this was the place they belonged *before* making a commitment. Those non-Gorean friends served a vital function here whether some like to admit it or not. They served as a "bridge" between Gor and the rest of the world. Many of the friends who visited here also spent a great deal of time in D/s rooms debunking the "MeanOldGoreansWillTakeYourHeadIfYouGoThere" myths.

"Be Gorean or Be Gone" excluded those people from our community. And the community has felt that loss ever since.

The second point, and I believe the single most damaging result of those five words is the demand of immediacy. Humans have a desire to "fit in." Demanding that they "Be Gorean or Be Gone" forces many to lay claim to something they do not even comprehend just in order to be here. So people fake it. They make a cool sounding Gorean name and invent some Gorean pedigree (I'm from IRC. Been there for 25 years, No, no particular room... yeah right) and they are off and running. Within hours, they collar a slave (looks very Gorean) and a day later, they open their own room. Deciding this Gorean stuff is easier than it looks, they begin to invite their friends.

And we complain. We bitch and moan about the players.

We helped create this mess and we need to take responsibility for it. We tell people to read and study and ask questions and be sure before they commit....then they get clubbed over the head with "Be Gorean or Be Gone."

Perhaps when we Goreans stop sending mixed messages....

The new ones might just get the message.