 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| PICTURES OF AN UNSPECIFIED PERIOD OF TIME |
| Can I help it if people have forgotten how to take interesting photos? That photography is rapidly becoming a lost art? That the visual image fails to hold interest in these days of computer altered reality? You know what were fun was them ViewFinder things. |
| One of these days someone is going to hit you on the back and your face is just going to stay that way. |
| "Hey baby, looking for a good time with the most swingin' bachelor at the Vatican? Call 1-800-HOT-POPE and for only $4.95 a minute you can enjoy sizzling readings of both the Old and New Testament. Call now baby, Johnny Paul wants you..." |
| Evolution, in its infitite wisdom, finally helps out the turtle. |
| Always a little more recycling around our house once football season starts. You should see the piles during the regular season. |
| Stars such as Bob Dylan and Brad Pitt follow the lead of fashion guru Al Gore and grow beards. They are forced to shave when passerby repeatedly drop quarters into their Starbucks cups. |
| Her popularity increasingly waning, Britany Spears creates a "Mini-Me." The cloning is so expensive she is forced to sell most of her shirt. |
| I hate to state the obvious, but it seems to me that not only are guns more effective, there's a much smaller chance of chopping off your neighbor's ear. |
| My entry in the 2002 DC Chili Cookoff is a flaming success. |
| Aw, the radio's not coming in...hey sweetie, do me a favor and climb up the sail with this antenna, will you? |
| Lance Armstrong wins his fourth straight Tour de France despite a slow start and several unscheduled detours. |
| English soccer players take the goal scoring celebration dance to previously unheard of levels. |
| WHO ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME? WHO DO YOU WORK FOR? |
| Are ya comfortable there, George? Can we get you anything? Ice tea, maybe? Hot pocket? |
| My wife and I discover small flaws in the foundation of our new condo. Our realtor says she told us several times that the previous owner was keeping the floor. |
| "I hate to sound pessimistic, rabbi, but are you quite sure this is part of the standard bar mitzvah?" |
| "Dammit...the warranty on the seat belt expired two days ago, I should have seen this coming." |