First of all, I apologize for the delay in new material. It's easy to get soft when you think no one is reading this stuff. Your emails have proven that this is not the case, and I thank you.

Having said that, I’ve decided to be lazy again. Rather than trying to do something productive, I’d let Congress speak for themselves. The following are all real quotes from real speeches or colloquies made on the House or Senate floor since September 11. You probably thought that no economic stimulus package was passed because Congress was just bickering and wasting time. Well mister, you are quite clearly mistaken. Unless you think talking about catfish, the Civil War, Japanese skis, Jesus, anchors, Gumby, Shakespeare, burritos, and Charlie Daniels is wasting time.

“It is going to be ludicrous around here and entertaining because we are going to talk about what is and what is not a catfish. Over there, we may see one with an American flag on it, which would be an interesting species. When is a catfish other than a catfish? On this chart is a giant catfish with a name I can't pronounce. Here is a yellowtail catfish. I didn't do well in Latin. Here is another one, a basa catfish. Here is the channel catfish. They are all catfish. There are 2,500 of them. I don't have pictures of all of them. These are interesting pictures. We will have a lot of pictures back and forth. I think we will see more pictures of catfish than any time in the history of the Senate of the United States of America.” –
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)

“I still find that an astounding statement; that the end result of all economic activity is consumption. If that is the case, let's bring back slavery. Hey, the cheapest thing for the consumers is to have free labor. Why not? Let's do away with all environmental laws that protect the environment. Why not? If the end result is consumption, then forget about all that nonsense. Worker safety laws? Forget about all that nonsense, if the end result is simply consumption.” –
Sen. Tom Harkin (D-IA)

“At the gate, he went through an expanded screening and they opened everything he had and discovered he had seven additional knives, a can of mace, and a stun gun. I don't know if the guy is a terrorist, but I do know he is stupid. Nine knives, mace, and a stun gun, showing up at the airport? There is something else that is wrong: He got all the way to the gate with seven of his knives, a stun gun, and a can of mace.”
Sen. Byron Dorgan (D-ND)

“We do not have the foggiest notion about what the circumstances are with that broccoli.” Senator Byron Dorgan (D-ND)

“We now know what we are putting up with is this lobbyist crowd and the silly ideology that the Government can't do anything” –
Sen. Fritz Hollings (R-SC)

“We can return to the true meaning of Christmas. During this holiday, I urge all Americans to reflect on their families and their faith--whatever their faith--and to read the story of Jesus' birth in the Gospels. Look up into the night sky and pick the Star of Wonder that led the wise men to Bethlehem to offer gifts to the Christ Child.” –
Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV)

“Well, there is no point in my appearing before the committee after it has marked up the bill. That is a really silly suggestion, if I might say so: to make my impassioned plea to the committee after the committee has met and marked up the bill. Why should I go appear before the committee after that committee has marked up the bill? What a silly proposition.” – Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV)

“None of the funds in this Act may be available for the purchase by the Department of Defense (and its departments and agencies) of welded shipboard anchor and mooring chain 4 inches in diameter and under, unless the anchor and mooring chain are manufactured in the United States from components which are substantially manufactured in the United States.” – Department of Defense Appropriations Conference Report

“I thought, why don't I invite the Japanese diplomatic corps up to the Mansfield Room and we will show to them how good Montana beef is? That was naive. One member of the Japanese Parliament had the audacity to say the reason they have a quota on foreign beef is that their digestive system can't handle foreign beef. It is total nonsense. A few years earlier, we had a difficult time importing American skis into Japan, and their excuse then was, well, Japanese snow is a little different. I decided I had had it with the Japanese on beef.”
Sen. Max Baucus (D-MT)

Mr. McCAIN: I would like to pose a question to the manager of the bill, if I could have his attention. I see that there is $1 million for the
Shakespeare Rose Theater ‘to enhance educational and cultural programs and language literacy in the arts for students and the general public.’ Could the manager of the bill tell me where the Shakespeare Rose Theater is located? I can understand why the manager of the bill wouldn't know - it is a paltry $1 million, but could the manager of the bill tell me where the Shakespeare Rose Theater is located?
Mr. HARKIN. Might I inquire of the Senator, what committee does the Senator--
Mr. McCAIN. I only have 10 minutes. Can you tell me where the theater is located? That is a pretty straightforward question. It deserves a straightforward answer.
Mr. HARKIN. I would just say to the Senator, he asked me a question----
Mr. McCAIN. I withdraw the question.
Mr. HARKIN. You asked me a question. Now he won't let me answer it.
Mr. McCAIN. I asked for an answer. I didn't get an answer.
Mr. HARKIN. The answer is there are 1,600 different items in this bill. If the Senator has about 60 seconds of patience, I will find out for him.
Mr. McCAIN. I thank you, but it is an example. The manager of the bill doesn't even know where a place that we are giving $1 million of the taxpayers' dollars is located.
Mr. HARKIN. It is in Massachusetts.
Mr. McCAIN. That is instructive.
(Later)
Mr. McCAIN: I have something that my staff put in front of me regarding the Rose. Apparently, it is in London, England. Are we now giving a million dollars to a theater in London, England? Remarkable. Put in without any hearing, without any authorization, without anything? We are going to give a million dollars for that? Are the British so bad off that they need a million dollars from us for a theater in London? We have homeless people wandering the cities of America and we are going to give a million dollars to the Rose Theater? Remarkable.
Mr. HARKIN: Madam President, the Senator from Arizona never mentioned the projects in Arizona in the amount of $6.7 million. Does the Senator want us to knock all those out?
Mr. McCAIN. Absolutely. I have opposed every earmarked project for my State, and I have done so for all the years I have been here. I am sorry the Senator from Iowa doesn't know that.
Mr. HARKIN. The Senator knows full well that the other Senator from Arizona supports those.
Mr. McCAIN. The other Senator does not support those. It came from the House.
Mr. HARKIN. So does the Congressman.
Mr. McCAIN. It came from the House. He doesn't even know where the theater is in London.
(FROO FROO Editor's Note: There is, in fact, a replica of the original rose being built in Lenox, Massachusetts. Whether or not it deserves a million dollar earmark is your decision.)

“Madam President, I recognize the presence today of our world champion Arizona Diamondbacks who are visiting with the President later this morning. We in Arizona are especially proud of them, as I know are all baseball fans across America who hate the Yankees as well.” – Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)

“Legions of fans of all ages and musical tastes applaud his genius, and we can be assured that the legacy of Tony Bennett will live forever.” –
Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY)

“I have been so flexible that I know how Gumby feels.”
Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA)

“When I was a child, a person went to turn the light switch on and the lights came on. In those days, we swatted flies and we poisoned rats. Today we set aside habitat for flies and rats. And who pays for it? Private property owners have to pay the price of setting their property aside for some stupid endangered species that some wacko Democratic politician wants to preserve.”
Rep. Gary Miller (R-CA)

“We went with this new-fangled system. Had there not been conspiracies and probably illegal actions that we will never be able to prove, it would have worked.” –
Rep. Brad Sherman (D-CA)

“Last week the Speaker of the House decided, based on credible information and a significant threat, to shut down some of our office buildings. Lo and behold, all of a sudden headlines say ‘wimp.’ The Speaker acted appropriately and I would much prefer a headline saying ‘wimp’ than ‘morons.’” –
Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL)

“If it is an open-face sandwich, one agency inspects it. If it is two slices of bread, another agency inspects it. If it is a burrito with cheese, then it is inspected by Health and Human Services. If it is a burrito with meat, then it is inspected by USDA.” –
Rep. Nick Smith (R-MI)

“I will stand here clearly and unmistakably to oppose this wrongheaded alternative and the wrongheaded rhetoric that has accompanied it. Shame on you.”
Rep. Bill Thomas (R-CA)

“America gives $60 billion a year to the FBI and CIA for intelligence, and the truth is we learned of every one of these tragedies from Fox News and CNN. The truth is we have an intelligence network that is so dumb they could throw themselves at the ground and miss.”
Rep. James Traficant (R-OH)

“Plenty of dumb laws have been passed by the Congress.” –
Rep. Thomas Tancredo (R-CO)

“These things would be funny if they were not so tragic and idiotic. It is just a manifestation of this goofball thinking of how dare we think that we cannot keep someone out of our country because their culture may be inferior. And I am going to state categorically there are cultures that are inferior to ours. It is not to our benefit that these people come in. Things happen when they come. Sometimes places get blown up.” – Rep. Thomas Tancredo (R-CO)

“Some folks say this will not hurt the President's efforts on TPA because Textile State lawmakers are not going to vote for this anyway. Well, that is a bunch of bull crap.”
Rep. Sue Myrick (R-NC)

Mr. McINNIS: First of all, let me address a few comments made by the gentlewoman from Ohio (Ms. Kaptur). I think clearly they were either confused or there was some confusion in the research that they did for their comments. It would be some benefit to her to study history of the Civil War. She would find, probably to her surprise, that the Civil War was not driven by economics; the Civil War was driven by the principle of slavery.
Ms. KAPTUR. Mr. Speaker, will the gentleman yield on that point?
Mr. McINNIS. Mr. Speaker, if the gentlewoman will not interrupt me.
Ms. KAPTUR. Mr. Speaker, the gentleman from Colorado (Mr. McInnis) mentioned my name.
Mr. McINNIS. Mr. Speaker, I have the floor and I say to the gentlewoman from Ohio (Ms. Kaptur), I would be happy to yield to the gentlewoman on another occasion. However, they had one hour of uninterrupted time. Perhaps at the end of my hour, I would be happy to have that conversation with the gentlewoman. Prior to that, I have no intention of yielding. Mr. Speaker, let me go back to the Civil War. The comment made about the Civil War was driven by economics, come on, give me a break. It was not economics; it was slavery. Let us go on to another comment. The Middle East problems are because of trade. Jiminy Christmas, somebody has to study some history here before those kinds of comments are made.”

“What happens is there is so much of this politically correct garbage going on out there: Oh, my gosh, look at this song, it is not politically correct because it may offend some group out there. We need to move a little further away from political correctness and get back to realism. Charlie Daniels represents the views of a lot of people in this country.” – Rep. Scott McInnis (R-CO)

“What a bunch of crap; unacceptable crap, in my opinion.” Rep. Scott McInnis (R-CO)
The Froo Froo's Book of Popular Political Quotations
Back to the Froo Froo - Also a bunch of unacceptable crap.