Change - Chutzpah - Articles about Parenting

These responses to rude questions were selected from postings to Jewish Special Needs They are similar to other questions asked by some nosy people.

Question (by a stranger): "Is this genetic?"

Serious response: in the future you should know that this is a very personal question.

Humorous response: Are your children genetic?

How could you bring this child home?

Serious response: This child is a gift from G-d. If a king gives you a present you accept it. If the King of all Kings gives you a present you accept it with love.

Humorous response: The hospital had a no exchange or return policy...

How will you ever marry off your other children?

Serious response: From the experience of having a brother/sister with special needs, my other children have learned to be kind, giving and accepting. Whoever marries them will be fortunate.

Humorous response: How will you find someone to marry your children?

Comment to parent with harnessed autistic child: "I just want you to know, we think that what you're doing to your child is degrading. It's as if you are turning him into a dog."

Response: "What you're doing now is degrading, and you have no excuse."

My child is autistic and if he doesn't have the harness he'll run into the street. Now leave us alone."

Interruptions from telemarketers or door-to-door salesmen:

If someone insists on butting into your life with their unwanted advice then you do not owe them anything in return.

Your children's safety and your peace of mind are more important than the feelings of strangers.

Bad response from a pediatrician:

Abandon your child to a psychopedic facility and "get on with your lives"

"You were advised of the best option - so what more do you want".

Getting around bank bureaucracy with children:

Place the disabled children on the loan officer's desk:

"These guys have come a long way to be here and they need a home - so here we stay until people start listening and talking sense."

Question: "Why is he like that?"

Response to someone in the family who asks out of concern:

Be nice about it

Do not share all the medical documents

Do not necessarily answer the question

Something like "he has a developmental problem. We're taking care of it, don't worry" in a friendly tone of voice

Response to others who are busybodies:

"I don't think that's any of your business"

Any other answer would cause them to ask more probing questions.

Statement: "Now I understand Darwin for believing monkeys can turn into people.

Response to family member: Hold back on deserved sharp reply in order to preserve family relationships

Comment from a speech therapist: "Your son is just "fascinating. I have never seen anyone like that before. I've read all about it and I am eager to get to know him!" she pulls her chair real close to have a g-o-o-d look.

Hold back. Although your child is not a museum exhibit to be gawked at, you do want the professional care.

Strategy when somebody asks a rude question:

Pretend to be clueless: "I'm sorry, I don't understand ..."

"I'm sorry, I can't help you, perhaps you should ask someone else."

Pretend you didn't hear and ask the person what time it is.

This is completely disarming

Usually the nudnik either tells me the time or apologizes for not having a watch

He usually leaves without any more bother

Response to annoying questions from someone who is not a stranger

Be disarming (and honest)

Question: "Is she expected to be really retarded?"

Answer: "She's expected to be the joy of our lives."

Question: "Is he expected to be able to walk?"

Answer: "He's expected to be able to sing like an angel if we encourage him."

Question:

"How do you know?"

"What are you doing for it"

"So will he be REALLY retarded?"

Answer: "You know what? I'll send you all of his medical files when I'm done with them"

Q: (this one goes with an appropriate "OY!" accompanied by a smacking of the hands to the cheeks) So what will your next child be like?

A: The next one? It will probably be either a cat or a dog.

3) Q: so what are you doing about it?

A: Nothing. We're just waiting for help to fall from the sky.

Q: What exactly IS Williams' Syndrome?

A: Do you really want to know?

Q: Yes

A: William's Syndrome is a rare genetic condition estimated to occur in about 1/20000'th of the population...

The nudnik soon loses interest.

Question about a boy with severe cerebral palsy: "Where do you keep him?"

Response: I built a nice little room for him out in the back yard!

Where do you want to go now?