Articles about Parenting
Dating
A list of what you want

You can fool some of the people
all of the time,
and all of the people
some of the time,
but you can not fool all of the people
all of the time
- Abraham Lincoln

Let's modify Lincoln's words just a bit. You can satisfy some of the people some of the time, and you can satisfy all of the people some of the time, but you can not satisfy all of the people all of the time.

This issue is especially important when creating a list of what you want in a partner for life. You will prepare that list before your first date.

Your list does not have to be politically correct. You do not have to share it with anybody except your confidant.

That list does have to be as complete as possible. It should include positive traits that you hope to find in your partner, as well as undesirable or objectionable traits that you don't want.

It may take many hours of intense work to create that list. Be sure to review it carefully, several times.

After the list is completed and then prioritized, you should consider their order to be holy and immutable.

Thus, if a potential date has a physical disability or another characteristic that is not on your list, then don't let anybody dissuade you from going out with that person. Your list will help you make your final decisions, not the preconceived feelings of other people.

Yes, somebody may ask how you can marry such a person, implying that they would not want to do so. Fine, so they won’t marry such a person.

This should seem obvious. After all, you and your confidant have just created a list that stipulates precisely what you want.

However, some people do not make decisions on their own. They allow themselves be persuaded or dissuaded by other factors or by what other people want.

The pages that you are reading now exhort you to be in control of your own future.

Your list reflects your decisions with your confidant

The decisions you have made with the assistance of your confidant are holy. Statements, opinions, and dissuasive tactics by other people based upon their list of priorities may be rejected if they are not on your list.

True, there may be occasions in which another person may raise a justifiable issue that was not on your list. You and your confidant may decide to accept that point of view and to add it to your list.

Lincoln's words and the first paragraph of this page do seem to take on added significance now. You won't be able to satisfy everybody. Your confidant will help you satisfy yourself. You are dealing with your own life. Those offering advice, admonishments, and politically-correct recommendations may come and go. Only you will have to live with the final decision.

Where do you want to go now?

See the next article in this series: When should you create a list?

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