The subscribers to Jewish Parenting were asked what it takes to be a good Jewish parent.

Following are some of the responses:

1. Good parents train their children.

   That’s not as obvious as it seems. Many parents allow others to raise their children in basic behavior and modes of action. A widespread trend in today’s educational system is to refrain from punishment, to avoid the need to force children to do things, and to allow children to choose their own path, by themselves. Children are not always capable of making such decisions. The Jewish concept of “Train your child according to his own path” must not be forgotten.

2. Good parents teach their children to be independent.

   Parents should help children learn how to make decisions, and older children should be encouraged to make their own decisions. However, the background for making decisions and the advantage of learning how to make decisions should be fostered by the parents.

   They can then function on their own, while asking the parents for advice and consultation, and while maintaining a good family relationship.

3. Good parents teach their children responsibility.

   Many parents give their child everything, yet the children are not responsible for their own property or that of others. Children learn responsibility by having to earn or work for some of their basic needs so that they can then understand the needs of others, and so that they will be less demanding. Respect for parents is a fundamental Jewish concept.

4. Good parents teach their children Jewish concepts, ideals, and traditions.

   Many observant Jewish parents do not transfer their own ideals to their children. They expect their children to see what their parents are doing, to learn from them, or to make wise decisions based on what they see. By sending their children to the best schools and enrolling them in the best clubs, they let others raise their children as good Jews. Jewish education is thus detached from home life. Although children notice their parent’s Jewish behavior, it is not discussed and brought alive at home.

5. Good parents should educate children to pursue their own areas of success.

   Plumbers should teach their children how to work with pipes; electricians should teach their children to work with electricity; writers should teach their children know how to write well; Rabbis should lead their sons to get Smicha (to receive Rabbinical ordination). These skills may not necessarily be the child’s ultimate calling in life. However, they should benefit from the father’s knowledge, skill, and experience.

6. Good parents should be a resource of wisdom.

   Not all parents are wise. Nonetheless, Jewish children should view parents as prime resources for issues of importance and religion. They should consider their parents' knowledge, background, and experience when encountering an important step in life. The final decision may well be in the hands of the child.