This page is still under construction.

One of the major issues affecting any marriage can be predicted.

It is rare to find a situation in which all of the relatives and friends agree with the shidduch.

Of course you might ask why it is their business and why they have to get involved. They're not marrying the person. You are. And you can decide whom to marry. They should butt out.

There is no argument with any of these statements. You are perfectly right.

However, it's time for a reality check. The fact of the matter is that these people do get involved and the fact is that they can interfere and interfere to a great deal. In some cases if they are influencial with your marriage you may have a very difficult and unhappy marriage because of these third party influences.

Should it be that way? No. Do they have a right to do this? No. Will they get involved in a negative and will they cause problems? Possibly!

In some cases you can tell in advance just how influencial and pushy these people may be and how much of an impact they have had on other relatives. By seeing just how others relate to them you can predict how they may relate to you.

You may say that this marriage is important enough to you and this shidduch is important enough to ignore any potential and serious invasion in your decisions and in your privacy.

You may take steps to minimize the intrusion in your decisions.

However, the important issue to keep in mind here is that you should not ignore the issue.

Remember that people are often on their best behavior before you get married. That's right. That despicable behavior that some people exhibited is not likely to improve over the course of time.

Therefore, although you and your potential spouse may be considering marriage because of your own reasons, you feel that you are suitable, you should consider the influence of these people. You may also say that the shidduch was difficult enough as it is and you do not feel like destroying because of the influence of a pest. Objectively, of course, you are right. However, it is important to enter into this relationship with the full knowledge of its potential for problems.

You have been forewarned.