Growing children will have many opportunities to develop the skills they need to carry on a good conversation. They will talk to or negotiate various arrangements with friends, and they may have assignments in school that help them express themselves. All of these opportunities are useful, but they don't always work. As a result, some children grow up to be argumentative.

You can help. By acting as their discussion partner, you can help your children learn how to hold conversations as well as you do, using the skills which you developed through your life. Keep in mind that young children are usually less able to formulate logical opinions. Older children may be able to present their case in a logical order, by presenting the need or the problem, then by developing their point of view in a logical manner, and then by leading up to a logical and convincing conclusion. Since you hold the cards by being more experienced in conversational skills, you can usually win - if you want to. That’s OK - they should hear how to win discussions by presenting them in a logical way. They should also learn how to lose gracefully.

On the other hand, until they can develop these skills, they should sometimes have the opportunity to have their case heard and win despite their lack of logical development. Perhaps you can ask them questions, in order to guide them through why - when - where - with whom - and for what issues, and then you may decide that their idea has merit. When they do present a worthwhile idea, they should be given the feeling that their idea was accepted, and that the decision was based on their suggestion, and that otherwise the plan might not have worked out. They will learn that they can achieve their goals by discussion, and that it is worth having the discussion.

Talking about your own childhood, or your work (you do bring your child to work from time to time, don’t you?) can help as well. These efforts will offer the children opportunities to develop his verbal expression.