Communications do not always serve the desired purpose. Spouses and siblings sometimes learn to communicate without revealing anything. That is often when outside counselors are called in to help.

It is clear that good communication is one of the most important aspects of a good marriage. It has to be done in the right way, and it has to meet the individual needs of the participants. Some people might need more space. Others might need more communication. Others don't need communication – they may simply need a partner who will serve as a listening board while they vent. In that case, the spouse serves a unique purpose. He keeps the partner from being lonely.

When an outsider – even a counselor – observes the communication between two people, he may have a feeling or a comment about it. He may feel that it should be done differently.

This is not necessarily the case. Each pair of communication partners is different, and their way of relating to each other is different. Only an intensive study of the dynamics of their relationship would reveal whether their form or means of communication should be improved. In many cases, that outsider can do more harm than good.

The Jewish Groups forums have repeatedly demonstrated the importance of communication between couples, family members, professionals, and others, each according to their specific needs.

A good marriage counselor will consider all of these issues and will assure that the couple finds the best modus vivendi for its needs.