Not all discussions are successful. Sometimes they break down. This may occur when they were not prepared properly, or when they were not carried out in a logical, step-by-step manner.

Some people may become frustrated by discussions. They may have had experiences in which the discussions did not yield the desired goal. As a result, they may feel – quite incorrectly – that they cannot carry out discussions successfully, or that it does not pay to have discussions.

Their approach is mistaken. Anyone who follows the correct procedures can benefit from communication.

Even those who experience difficulties conducting discussions can be successful if they have the assistance of a good discussion leader. His knowledge and experience can prevent some of the common pitfalls that cause discussions to fail. In that way, he can help both sides understand the best way to act.

Write it down

Productive discussions often become complicated. Each side may present issues, positions, arguments, evidence, and other factors. Furthermore, the partners to the discussion often make requests, gestures, promises, and offers.

For these reasons, the discussion partners should maintain a single, combined set of notes that meets the approval of both sides. That set of notes should be updated or corrected, as needed.

The facilitator or moderator should help the sides identify and state their positions, and also clarify their arguments, so that both sides understand the position, and present logical evidence for their arguments.