The specific and stated goal of the discussion should be stipulated clearly before the sides present their points. This is important, so that everybody understands just what is expected, and so that they focus on that issue.

Some discussions may have more than one goal. However, this places a strain on the partners. It is often difficult to keep several issues in mind at the same time. For this reason, it is usually better to use this option only when it is impossible to do otherwise, and only with partners who have demonstrated their ability to deal with several concurrent issues.

Following are some possible goals:

• To clarify issues and ideas
• To remove irrelevant ideas
• To combine related ideas
• To understand other people's point of view
• To convince or persuade others of a particular point of view
• To instruct or to teach a topic
• To form conclusions about an issue
• To share information
• To learn from others
• To come to a decision about an issue

Do not deviate from your selected goal. Other important goals that may arise should be shifted to a separate discussion. It would be wise to write down any side issues, so that they will not be forgotten.

Of course, your discussion may show that your selected goal is unjustified, unfair, or inappropriate. In that case, the basis for your discussion will have collapsed, and it should be terminated. There is no justification for continuing such a discussion.

The partners to a goal-oriented discussion will have a wonderful sense of accomplishment after meeting their limited and specific goals. They can then pursue another discussion, and then another, as their goals move מחיל אל חיל, from strength to strength.

Our world would be a much better and safer place in which to live if more people and nations would discuss issues in this way.