The person who exhibits hatred in a family has a deep-seated problem.

That person will have to reach the conclusions that the hatred must be terminated. This is difficult. The hater will have to have to take various difficult steps:

• To buck the tide
• To decide things that differ from those stated by her support group
• To come to various conclusions on an independent basis

Clearly, when the hater is in direct contact with people who reflect a negative influence. They support her hate. It is quite difficult to exhibit other emotions. The hater is dealing with an overload of feelings of support. She may want to reject them, but she can’t. That person can no longer make independent decisions. She is controlled by those who are now closest to her - the support group. They are in the worst position to help her make correct decisions.

At some point the hater may face a crisis. It may take one of three forms:

• Within herself, despite the efforts of the support group
• Between herself and the support group
• Between herself and a new, external issue

This crisis may be the best catalyst for terminating the hate.

When the hater realzes that she has no place to turn, she may realize that she can only turn to her family. She will be very concerned about doing so, because of all the grief she has caused that family. She may try desperate steps in order to attract the family, or to be able to blame the family so that they will return to her with recriminations. This is a very delicate period of time.

Of course, this presupposes a crisis. The psychologist may actually foment an artificial crisis in order to cause the hater to return.

It is strange that in our world of opposites we do indeed wish that the hater will face a crisis. This may be her only way to come to her senses.

Is it imperative to have a crisis in order to terminate hate? Not necessarily. The hater may realize her mistake because of independent, clear thinking and act properly despite the lack of a crisis. However, this is less likely, and it requires the hater to develop a great deal of inner strength. That cannot happen in many cases, for two reasons:

• The hater draws her strength from her support group, which is not likely to recommend that she change her hatred to love.
• She is likely to be suffering from developmental difficulties

However, people have been known to rise to the occasion from time to time, when they realize it is for their own benefit.