There is usually not problem when people live their lives according to their natural persona and temperament. Problems begin when people try to act in an unnatural manner.

Of course, this does not apply to the people who surround them. Some might be affected or insulted by fighters or may jeer at non-fighters. We will not refer to the surrounding environment at this time. We will only discuss the people themselves.

Problems arise when people advise others to act in a manner which differs from their natural temperament.

A fighter whose natural tendency is to fight, who does not gain weight and who does not get excited about the fact that he fights, who fights in a natural way, who does not get high blood pressure or tense because of the fighting, he just is a born fighter, may have problems if people tell him to calm down, to relax, and not to fight. He will have difficulty adjusting in such a world. His lack of fighting will actually cause him to become tense and irritable. He needs to get it out of his system, possibly to the dismay of those who surround him, but that's not the point. He needs to fight. It does little good to tell such a person not to fight.

Similarly, someone who is not a fighter, who is a quiet, gentle, kind and sweet person and this matches his personality then he should not be instructed to fight. He should relax. He should take it easy. If somebody tells such a person to stop being a patsy or to stop letting people walk all over him and to speak up and to fight back and to demand his rights, that will cause that person to have a great deal of tension and anxiety. It will actually be worse for the person. He will not be able to survive in his new role.

Not everybody is meant to be first in line. Some people are not meant to be leaders. They are meant to be followers.

This is one of the most important judgment calls that psychologists face. It is very easy to tell somebody who has a tendency to be one one way to switch and be the other way, to speak up for himself or not to speak up for himself, to fight or not to fight, to act with a different persona or a different personality.

That advice is beneficial to some clients and detrimental to others. For that reason giving generalized advice without considering the specific makeup personality of the client could cause much more damage than it corrects. Sometimes fighters should be left ot be fighters and sometimes pacifists should continue to be patsies. It's not always good to make adjustments in personalities.

Some people choose to make their mark in the world by allowing the initiatives of others to blossom and come to fruition. They choose their fights, and when they are faced with issues that are not on their agenda, they give in rather than fighting.

In a world scarred by nearly 6,000 years of fighting, this option is becoming more and more viable and attractive.