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When I think of someone who is controversial I think of myself. I don't see myself as actually being controversial per se, but everybody who surrounds me seems to see controversy in everything that I do. Everybody has an opinion about what I should do or not do. Everybody either loves me or hates me. Either way they are quite opinionated about me. The controversy is directed at me and it is intended to pull or to sway me in their direction. I think that if I would be pulled towards everybody's direction based on their desires, needs, and wants, then I would certainly be torn into many, many small pieces and that would be quite difficult since there's a lot of me to pull apart. But everybody does have these opinions. I have learned long ago not to be fearsome of their many opinions and I'm accepting of the fact that I am the target of their controversial thoughts and feelings.

What does that make me? Does that make me a controversial person? Well, personality is partly based on the way a person considers and thinks about himself. I do not consider myself to be controversial. I consider myself to be a rather standard, normal, usual, typical person.

Why then am I surrounded by controversy?

Perhaps that is the real question that needs to be asked. On the other hand, if there is a person who is so surrounded by controversy and everybody has an opinion about that person, maybe that does indeed say something about the person.

On the other hand, if I would want to remove the controversy then there is not much that I would be able to do since so many people have so many conflicting and contradictory feelings, thoughts, concepts, and ideas about the controversial issues that they all present and represent.

Perhaps that is why it might be a good idea for me to run all of these forums. With all of these forums I allow people to let the controversy pour out of them themselves. They can be controversial about it and I can then be the bandmaster or the conductor of all of the controversies all around.

Interestingly, all of those controversies and all of those forums are not pointed at me. They are general controversies about specific topics of interest to Jews.

By diffusing the controversy in this way, I am able to focus a large number of controversies in an effective and positive manner. I am taking the controversies that exist and I am directing them myself in many ways.

Perhaps it takes somebody who is the subject of all of this controversy to be able to make the controversy work in positive ways for so many different people.

I will remain the target of controversy, probably for a long time to come, and as long as I am controversial in other people's eyes I will be able to run controversial issues and see through them, stand above them, learn about the big picture and be able to direct and coordinate that big picture in a positive way.

I question whether somebody who is not the target of controversy would be able to do the same.