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Many people have a certain characteristic delay. They're always late for things. They always plan things at the last minute. They claim that they cannot think in advance about things. They cannot make long term plans. Or so they say.

There are two possbilities in such a case.

Is the person waiting until the last minute to make the plans because he wants to see if something better will come up that evening? If so, then you have good reason to be insulted by the delay. He's going to consider the offer of doing sometning with you against the other possible offer of something else that comes up which might be better. He's not going to reserve that time because he wants to see what else will come up.

In other cases there are people who cannot make long term plans and they really cannot think that much in advance. They aren't planners. They don't think in advance. They don't have those long term ideas. That's a different situation.

In the first case, the person has a learned trait and he is rude to others in this.

Why is he rude? Because everybody else has to reserve the date. Everybody surrounding him. If it's the case of a party, then nobody else can make any plans for that evening. Even if it's a case of an individual, the person says can we go out on Saturday night and the person who refuses to make the long term plans may or may not go out with that person, but in the meantime the first person cannot make alternative plans for that Saturday night or else they will look bad or it will be their fault that the meeting is cancelled.

The person who delays has everybody waiting for him and his decision.

Surprisingly, in a great many cases the people who make this delay get away with it and they get invited again and again and people wait for them again and again and they have a feeling of winning the situation each time when it's always under their own unfair conditions and unreasonable conditions.

A person who delays is a very difficult person to get along with. On the other hand there are so many cases in which this person does have many friends and does have many options. It's very difficult to say that the person should be dropped. Obviously, that person usually has something going for him or her and there's a reason why they can get away with it.

It's a difficult situation. It's a situation that is hard to work with but these people are in a category of their own. They can make the delays. They can cause other people to not be able to schedule their own lives and nonetheless people do follow them.

It's very very difficult to counsel these people and to help them change their wrong way of acting towards the rest of the world. Most arguments will fail because the fact is that they do have their circle of friends and their social life is not being harmed by the fact that they delay their decisions until the last minute and until they decide whether something better comes along.