There are some people who seem to want to attract your attention for some time and then when you try to get just a little closer to them, when you try to befriend them they withdraw. They are afraid to get closer.

You can then try very hard to win over that person but it may be nigh unto impossible. The person is playing hard to get.

Why indeed do people play hard to get?

It is very often a caused deep-seated insecurity because the person very often feels unworthy of your attention or you concern. The person feels that they are not really that good and that you are better and therefore they play hard to get.

Oh, yes, there are people who just like to play games and playing hard to get is but one of many games available to them. This is another option.

There are still others who play hard to get simply because they have seen others do the same and they feel that it is cute.

Still others play hard to get because they have been taught by others not to give of themselves too readily, otherwise people will walk all over them.

There are thus many reasons for playing hard to get. However, the analysis here refers to those who of their own accord have decided that they want to play hard to get without receiving the misleading or unnecessary advice from others.

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As with many of the other personality traits the hard-to-get person could be exhibiting two possible traits, their opposites. Either the person wants to show that he is very very good or the person has a problem because he feels insecure or not good enough.

If he feels that he is very very good, too good for others, then he wants to check out other people and to see if their going to work hard enough to get him, to appreciate him, to enjoy him, to benefit from him. It's his way of testing others and if the people pass his test then he still might not be satisfied, he may continue to test people over and over again. That's playing hard to get.

In other words, even after you get him he still is not really gotten and you may have to work over and over again in order to get the person's attention or respect.

The other option is when the person doesn't feel good enough for others. He is therefore playing hard to get because he doesn't feel worthy. If he's not worthy, he feels that there is no justification for another person to be his friend or for another person to take him seriously, so he acts in a way that will turn others off or that will repulse or cause others to reject him.

The real issue is whether the person plays hard to get selectively. If certain people are indeed good enough whereas others are not good enough then this requires some evaluation. It's entirely possible that this is his way of selecting or sifting out those with whom he will be friendly, some will be friendly, some won't, and he's playing hard to get only to some people that he doesn't want them to be friendly with him or he doesn't want to be friendly with. Many people indeed won't be bothered to be friendly with somebody who plays hard to get. Indeed, that was his goal, that was his reason for acting that way. He wanted to be a turnoff and he wanted you to be the one to decide not to be friendly with him rather than him saying that I am rejecting you. That's the goal of hard to get. He wants you to be the bad guy in the relationship.

In most cases that's what people elect to do. They decide to indeed be the bad guy and to terminate the relationship when somebody plays hard to get.

Indeed it would take some intrinsic quality in the other person to make it worth anybody's effort to woo them despite their efforts to reject them.