When I was a kid
I had two friends,
and they were imaginary,
and they would only play
with each other.
– Rita Rudner

This page is still under contruction

The lonely personality is different from the loner.

The loner discourages people from being around them. Nobody wants to get near the loner. The loner is a person who is rejected by others but it's their own doing. They could spruce themselves up some, they could develop some more interesting chat and nothing would be wrong with them.

On the other hand, the lonely person is okay, spruced up and cheerful, tries to be cheerful, but remains forelorn. The lonely person looks around as people get on the bus and hopes that someone will sit next to them and hopes that that person will be talkative and care about them and offer them company and guidance and entertainment.

The problem is that despite these needs, the lonely person is just not outgoing. If that person would reach out to others in a positive welcoming manner, then it is possible that the problem would be resolved.

But the lonely person just never took a Dale Carnegie course and is waiting for others to recognize them for what they are and to come to their assistance by offering them the company that they so well neeed.

The lonely person does well enough at work until it comes time for the social issues at work and then they are passed over for the other go getters who sparkle more at work. He or she is never the head of a committee but he or she is always placed on one of those committees to do work. They don't have any people who really avoid them at work. It's just that they don't stand out in the crowd and as a result they often go unnoticed whenever something is about to take place.

Life is not always fair and as a result this person continues to be left behind in just about everything that happens. He or she will probably continue to be left behind because they do not have the dynamism and authoritative go get it feelings that the others have. The lonely person is sometimes a good team player and really is a good person to have around even though he or she will never shine.

However, give that lonely person a lucky break - which he so much craves and has been craving for so many years - and he will be eternally grateful to you. Indeed he may be your most important contact or the most important person on your staff if you will just recongize his importance.

A good administrator would do well to search for the right lonely person, the one who needs that extra boost in order to be able to get the most out of the employee.

That person needs recognition more than salary so it's a good way to improve the company's standing and productivity without increasing the budget.

However, don't take advantage of the lonely person despite the fact that they do not demand a high enough salary. At some point they will recongize that they are doing the work of others who are paid more and they will be frustrated. You don't want to do that to such a good employee.

Thus, although the lonely does not demand a higher salary for more work, do give it to them but not at the same time that you give them a raise in presitge. Make it a two-step process so that the person will feel good about themselves and improve their self image twice. The first time because they got a raise in recognition. The second time because they got a raise in salary.

You will have a fine partner or employee in that way.

If a lonely person does feel underpaid then he will not speak up, but he will certainly not feel as much of the increase in self image as he had before when you gave him the boost in the job status. Please be sure to notice this employee by yourself without having the employee speak up for themselves.

The truth is that with so many noisy pushy people in the world, it's good to have the lonely type as well to balance it out at least to a small degree.