He's the kind of friend
who will always be there
when he needs you.
- Adam Christing

Some people like to show that they are unsuccessful or that they are losers. They feel that they will get more sympathy from other people that way and they do thrive on this sympathy from others.

This is not a very healthy approach. It's not a way of succeeding in life. It's not a way of getting ahead. But that is not their goal.

The miskayn has to be given a reason to have a more positive outlook on life. It's not going to be enough to tell the miskayn, you're good, you're good, you're good, you can do more, isn't it worth it for you to get ahead in life? Isn't it worth it for you to improve? Because that is not their goal. So the usual forms of encouragement are not going to help.

Rather, the miskayn has to be given a different and alternative goal in life. He has to be given a series of way of looking at developing themselves and their needs and improving themselves because they want to reach certain goals. Once they have goals then they will want to improve themselves in order to be able to meet these goals. By having a need to improve themselves, they will change from their original feelings or goals which is to be a miskayn to the new goal, the different goal, which is to improve themselves and to better themselves. It's going to mean a switch from a set of values and goals to a newer set which will be guided and directed by the counselor or the therapist.