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Personality
Vicarious

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Some people don't live their own lives. They live vicariously through others. They have their "Secret World of Walter Mitty" complex in which they make believe they are somebody else.

In some cases these people might reflect the behavior or actions of a single individual and in other cases they might reflect different vicarious people and at different times they may act like different people.

The latter case is more frustrating, of course, because you are never sure who you are speaking to. The person is living somebody else's life and if that somebody else keeps changing then you may have difficulty relating to that person.

If it's any consolation the person suffering from these vicarious lives is really deep down suffering much more than you.

Of course, that doesn't do much good if you have employed that person or if that person is part of your family or you have another close relationship in which case you have to deal with this difficult problem and you might not be capable of doing so.

The person who lives a vicarious life is troubled. For whatever reason he does not accept his own situation or position in life and he tries to imagine that if he would be somebody else or living in a different world things would improve and be good and he does not believe that things are as good as they could be for him at the present.

How unfortunate.

This lack of acceptance of himself interfers with many of his decisions in life. He probably does not accept others around him either. In many cases, he does not accept the food that he is given, the place where he lives, the work that he has to do, and other such issues.

You may well feel sorry for the person who lives vicarious lives.

To help this person it would be useful to first consider why the person is upset with his lot in life. What upsets him about himself and then you may want to help him analyze why he has selected the specific personae that he has selected and perhaps you may even help him understand if he selects multiple personae why he selects each one on a particular day and what needs to be done in order to help him deal with his decision to select other people. Once he understands why he has done what he has done, then he can make a decision about whether he accepts himself that way or whether he wants to change it.

This will all require major changes in his unfortunate self-image.

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