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The voting is over. The results are
in.
The dispute is over, until funnier names
are drafted.
The Browns' Josh Booty ran away with his
2nd selection to quarterback, joining fellow innuendo playcaller A. J.
Feeley.
The departure of Ben Gay from the face
of the NFL left a spot open in the AFC running back department.
Mukala Sikyala, the slant rhyming wonder, sits in the backfield with
returning tongue twister Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala. In the NFC, Skip
Hicks and Trung Canidate enjoy their first selections.
Some familiar faces adorn the AFC wide
receiver corps, as T. J. Houshmandzadeh and Plaxico Burress receive their
2nd selection, and Dimitrius Breedlove joins them for the first
time. The NFC faces are completely new, as monosyllabic Yo Murphy
and Na Brown are nowhere to be found. "Well-dressed" Amani
Toomer was selected, along with well-hyphenated Ken-Yon Rambo and Az-zahir
Hakim.
The tight end races were very close in
both departments. With the Seahawks moving to the NFC, last year's
selection, Itula Mili, would have to compete with last year's AFC tight
end, Brandon Manumaleuna. After the dust settled, there were two
first time selections. Joe Dean Davenport apparently won over the
hillbilly fans, and Zeron Flemister received more votes than Mili or
Manumaleuna. It's a shame only one from each conference is elected,
as there were several qualified players.
The AFC offensive line is completely
different from last year. Anchoring this O-Line is the Steelers'
Chukky Okobi. Outside of him are the Bengals' Thatcher Szalay and
the Colts' Situpe Peko (who was mistakenly placed on the ballot for
center. Good thing he didn't win that one). The tackles are
Jumbo Elliott and Lincoln Kennedy, who gets the Presidential Seal of
Approval.
The NFC offensive linemen is a little
more experienced. Mike Gruttadauria returns from the Cardinals to
act as the center, and Kendyl Jacox moves from the Chargers last year to
the Saints this year. Raleigh Roundtree also made the team as a
Charger last year, but played for the Cardinals this year. The
tackles have never been here before. The Cowboys' Flozell Adams and
the Lions' Stockar McDougle round out the big men up front.
On the defensive side, Kimo von
Oelhoffen moves from defensive tackle to defensive end and still gets
selected along with newcomer Chukie Nwokorie on the AFC. Ebenezer
Ekuban scrooged his way into a second selection, coming in second only to
Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila, more commonly referred to as "KGB."
With von Oelhoffen at DE and Tony
Siragusa retiring, two new faces appeared. The Browns' mythological
Orpheus Roye and the smooth tasting Sam Adams (who is not light by any
means) get their first selection, as do the NFC's Cletidus Hunt and La'Roi
Glover.
Takeo Spikes returns as a linebacker, as
does Kailee Wong, the first of two Houston Texans ever selected. T.
J. Slaughter had a good enough name to be named the third LB. On the
other side, the Packers continued to churn out defensive players, getting
two linebackers named. Hardy "Har Har" Nickerson and Na'il
Diggs represent the Pack, and Taverreus Pounds represents his Carolina
Panthers.
Two rookies show up as AFC
cornerbacks. DeMarcus Faggins, the second of two Texans, and Quentin
Jammer of the San Diego Chargers. "Doctor" Dre' Bly and
Fred Smoot make up the NFC cornerbacks.
The number of safeties expanded to two
from each conference this year, as opposed to last year, in which the 11th
player was the leading vote getter who was not automatically
selected. As a result, the Packers' Bhawoh Jue was named as a safety
this year, and a cornerback last year. He is joined by Reggie Tongue
of the Seattle Seahawks. On the AFC side, the Colts' Idrees Bashir
and Lawyer "Due Process" Milloy round out the backfields.
Since the names of kickers and punters
are not as hilarious as other positions, the kicking game was reduced to
just one selection from each conference to make the competition more
fierce. Two clear names emerged, however, as Sebastian Janikowski
defended his AFC kicker position, and the Cowboys' Flip Filipovic beat out
incumbent Scott Player of the Arizona Cardinals. Tough luck for Tom
Tupa and Jay Feely, last year's kicker and punter, who were the odd men
out as a result of two fewer kickers.
The MVN voting was close, but running
back Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala garnered enough votes to be the AFC's Most
Valuable Name. He was also estimated to be on almost 90% of the
ballots. He replaces Ben Gay, who was also a running back. The
NFC was much more close. It was in fact a five-way tie. The
tiebreaker was percentage of the votes from their respective
positions. Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila, who was on over 60% of the ballots,
won the tiebreaker, and the defensive tackle's first MVN, succeeding Yo
Murphy from last year.
The Cowboys and Packers each had five
selections. All of the Packers play defense. The Steelers and
Colts each had four players named. Overall, the Cowboys have had the
most ever selections, with eight, counting the three from last year.
The Kansas City Chiefs, Miami Dolphins, Tennessee Titans, San Francisco
49ers, Chicago Bears, and Tampa Bay Buccaneers have yet to have a player
named to the All-Name Team. I guess they just aren't trying hard
enough.
Selections By Team
| AFC Team |
Picks |
Overall |
NFC TEAM |
Picks |
Overall |
| Bengals |
3 |
5 |
49ers |
0 |
0 |
| Bills |
0 |
1 |
Bears |
0 |
0 |
| Broncos |
0 |
2 |
Buccaneers |
0 |
0 |
| Browns |
3 |
6 |
Cardinals |
2 |
5 |
| Chargers |
2 |
4 |
Cowboys |
5 |
8 |
| Chiefs |
0 |
0 |
Eagles |
1 |
4 |
| Colts |
4 |
5 |
Falcons |
0 |
1 |
| Dolphins |
0 |
0 |
Giants |
1 |
4 |
| Jaguars |
1 |
1 |
Lions |
2 |
2 |
| Jets |
1 |
3 |
Packers |
5 |
7 |
| Patriots |
1 |
3 |
Panthers |
1 |
1 |
| Raiders |
3 |
6 |
Rams |
2 |
5 |
| Ravens |
0 |
2 |
Redskins |
2 |
4 |
| Steelers |
4 |
7 |
Saints |
1 |
2 |
| Texans |
2 |
2 |
Seahawks |
1 |
4 |
| Titans |
0 |
0 |
Vikings |
0 |
3 |
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