I pause, the cotton ball still on Michael's head.  They were kissing, which means...no wonder he was so sensitive about the gay jokes.  He's gay, and I've been living with him, and....

And he hasn't ever touched me or made any kind of indecent approach, and if I flip out now, I'm no better than Michael's ex-room mate or the guys who made him like this.  I throw out the cotton ball and when I turn back around, I notice the tears making their way down Michael's face.  Fuck, now what?  I turn around, find the box of tissues, and hand it to him.  He yanks a tissue out, furiously wiping at his eyes and cursing loudly when he ends up pressing too hard on the bruises there.  "Don't rub so hard," I tell him, and as if on autopilot, I grab a tissue and gently blot away the teardrops.

He bites his lip, obviously trying to stop crying.  Once he's got himself under control, he looks up at me.  "Is it safe to guess that at the very least you aren't going to undo all the work you put in getting me cleaned up over this?"

I swallow against the small lump in my throat.  "No.  I'm not gonna hit you.  You mind coming out here with me so we can talk about this, though?"  He follows me out to the living room and sits down on the couch.  I grab a package of frozen peas out of the freezer and sit next to him.  "Here, put this on your eyes."

He smiles a bit at me as he takes the package from me.  "Thanks."

"No problem."  I hesitate.  "So.  You're gay."  He doesn't answer me verbally, he just nods.  "You could have told me this."

He takes a deep breath.  "I thought you'd kick me out or something."  He pushes up the bag of peas a bit to glance at me.  "You aren't, are you?"

I have to smile.  "No, I...I wish you would have told me, but I'm not mad or anything."  Michael pulls the frozen food back down and we got back to siting in silence.  "So, uhm, what happened to Kevin?  I'd assume he got the same treatment as you."

Michael laughs bitterly.  "Yeah, yeah he did.  They wiped the floor with him, and after  regaining the power to speak, he told me that he 'didn't think he could handle a relationship under this kind of pressure' and he drive himself home."

I blink.  "Under what kind of pressure?"

He sighs.  "He's afraid to be gay now.  I guess it was all well and good to like guys before, but now that there might be a little trouble, he's wimping out."  He sighs again.  "Fuck him, anyway."

I smile at Michael.  "Yeah.  Fuck him."

He weakly smiles back.  "I'm gonna go to bed now, ok?  It's been a long day, and I need to sleep."   He stands.  "I really appreciate you helping me out tonight.  I'd probably still be locked in the bathroom bawling my eyes out if you hadn't stepped in."

"That's what friends are for, I guess," I say with a shrug.  "Good night."

"G'night."

He goes into his room, and about ten minutes later, I curl up in my own bed.  All is quiet for an hour, and I drift off to sleep.  But I'm woke up by a scream.  I immediately look over to Hallie's crib in the corner of my room, but she's sound asleep.  And then I hear it.

"No...please, no...stop....NO!!!!"  It's Michael and he sounds near-incoherent.  I get out of bed and walk over to his room.  The door is cracked, and I slip inside.  Michael is asleep, but thrashing around in his bed, caught in a nightmare or something.  "Please...no more..." he moans.

I poke him gently.  "Michael...wake up, you're dreaming..."

He pulls away from my touch.  "Please!!!!  I didn't...I didn't do anything..."

Fuck this.  I shake him.  "Michael!  You're having a nightmare!  Wake the fuck up!"

His eyes pop open, tears leaking down his cheeks.  His whole body is tense, but when he meets my eyes, he relaxes.  "Pete...oh fuck..." his breath hitches, "did I wake you up?  I'm sorry..."

I sit down on the edge of his bed.  "You were screaming."  I pause.  Fuck, what do you say to your room mate who is falling apart right in front of you?  "You...uhm..want to talk?"

He blinks at me, dislodging more tears.  "I...I'm ok...you can go back to bed..."

I roll my eyes at him.  "You are not ok.  You were screaming bloody murder a few seconds ago and now you're crying, and you want me to believe that you're ok?"

He tries to smile and fails.  "I'm scared," he whispers.  "Do I have to start hiding what I am now?  We were barely doing anything, and this happened...."  He lets out a small sob.  "And I was so fucking helpless!  I couldn't fight back or anything, I just curled up into a little ball and let them hit me..."

"Three on two is pretty shitty odds, Michel," I tell him.  I rest my hand on his shoulder.  "Don't blame yourself, ok?  It's not gonna help anything."

He chokes back another sob.  "Do you think Kevin left me because I'm helpless?"

I shake my head.  "No, I think he left because he's a jerk."  I'm speaking before I can stop myself.  "You deserve better than him."

Michael looks at me.  Our eyes meet, and slowly, he moves closer to me, until he is right next to me.  "You really think so?"

I may be dense and insensitive, but I can read the signals he's sending.  Awkwardly, I pull him into my arms, and he rests his head on my chest.  "Yeah.  I really mean it."

We sit like that for awhile until Michael relaxes more, stops crying, and starts to get drowsy.  He burrows closer.  "You know, Kevin was always jealous of you," he says sleepily.

Okay.  That's odd.  "Why?"

Michael giggles.  Fuck, he's out of it.  "He was so convinced I was going to do something with you.  And I would always tell him no, that we weren't like that."  He smiles up at me.  "But, I always wondered..."

I manage to get out "What are you-" before he cuts me off with a kiss.  A million things pass through my mind at once.  I'm straight but he's so upset and he needs someone right now but I'm straight but he's been there for me but I'm straight but I would be homeless and Hallie could have died from the chicken pox without him but I'm STRAIGHT but I owe him...

And I kiss back.