( Tim walks into a second-handbookstore...)

TIM: Hallo.I wonder if you could help me. I'm looking for a book called ah 'Flyfishing'by J R Hartley.

BOOKSTORE OWNER:Is this a joke?

TIM: Oh nono no. No, I've seen it advertised on television. 'Flyfishing' by J R Hartley.It must be very popular 'cos chap in the advert couldn't find it anywhere.

BOOKSTORE OWNER:It doesn't exist. The book was invented forthe purposes of promoting the Yellow Pages telephone directory.

TIM: Oh really!How terribly dim of me. I'm most awfully sorry for wasting your time.

BOOKSTORE OWNER:That's perfectly alright sir.

(Tim approaches bookstore owneragain...)

TIM: So ah,do you have anything else by J R Hartley?

BOOKSTORE OWNER:Look, there is no J R Hartley,he was just made up for the Yellow Pages commercial.

TIM: Oh right,ha! Right ah... Well, ah... I better have that then.

BOOKSTORE OWNER:Have what?

TIM: You know,tinker tailor, soldier ah plumber...

BS: 'Spy'?

TIM: Ya,probably spy as well, you get everything in there don't you: taxis hotels...

BOOKSTORE OWNER:Ah, you're talking about the Yellow Pagesaren't you.

TIM: Ya. Haveyou got that?

BOOKSTORE OWNER:No.

TIM: Oh, shame,you ought to - it's a bloody good read. Now. Tell you what - have you gotthat other book? Ah, what's-it-called... we used to do it in Scriptureat school...

BOOKSTORE OWNER:The Bible.

TIM: Oh Idon't know... We were forced to read it by the Reverend Tubbo.

BOOKSTORE OWNER:The Bible.

TIM: Doyou know the Reverend Tubbo?

BOOKSTORE OWNER:No.

TIM: Oh, shame.Bloody good bloke. Used to beat me everyday. I'm eternally grateful tohim for that of course. Made me the man I am today.Ya. So, ah, do you havethat?

BOOKSTORE OWNER:The Bible?

TIM: Ya!That's the chap. Ya. Ya.

BOOKSTORE OWNER:Yes, we have the Bible. It is in fact thebest-selling book of all time.

TIM: Really?Gosh, someone must be making a pretty penny, eh? Who's the author?

BOOKSTORE OWNER:It's the Bible - there is no author.

TIM: Gosh.The mysterious J R Hartley strikes again, eh?

BOOKSTORE OWNER:Get out of my shop you pathetic, inbred individual.

(Bookstore owner walks away indisgust)

TIM: Bloodynice bloke! For a swot anyway. Wonder if he sails? I bet he does...