Man fat
Top hat
Fell flat
Squashed hat.

 
 
 
Quickly, quickly, I feel sickly.
Hasten, hasten, get the basin.
Ker plop !
Get the mop !

 
 
 

Shocking, shocking, shocking,
A mouse ran up my stocking.
What did it see when it got to the knee ?
Oh, shocking, shocking, shocking !
 
 
 

 
 
 

Man in a car
Went to the bar
Feeling nifty
Doing fifty
Hit a pole
Poor old soul
Doctor's fee
Cemetry.


 
 
 
 
 

I'm in the army now,
I tried to milk a cow,
The cow let off,
So I set off ---
I'm in the airforce now.
 
 
 
 

 
 

Mathew, Mark, Luke and John
Hold the donkey till I get on.
If he kicks pull his tail
If he widdles hold the pail.

As I was coming down the stairs
I met a man who wasn't there;
He wasnt there again today.
I wish that man would go away.
 

 
 
 
 

Mummy, mummy, what's that stuff ?
It looks like strawberry jam.
Tut, tut, my child,
Its just papa
run over by a tram.


 
 
 
 

In days of old, when knights were bold
And paper wasn't invented
they wiped themselves on telephone poles
and walked away contented.
 
 
 

 
 
 

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me,
I'm going to eat some worms.
Big fat juicy ones, long slim slimy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.
First you eat their heads off,
Then you suck their gizzards out,
See how they squiggle and aquirm !
Big fat juicy ones, long slim slimy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.
 


 
 
 

Over my tongue
Over my tongue
Look out stomach here it comes !
 
 
 
 

 
 

Polly on the railway road,
Picking up stones,
Along came an engine
And broke poor Polly's bones.
'Poof !' said the engine,
'I dont care !'