Mike Jones

(lead guitar/vocals)

A.K.A. Drunk Mike, Chili D, Joseph F. Mama, Harry Johnson, Glenn Danzig

Position in Band: Lead Singer, Guitar Player, Songwriter, Asshole

Drunk Hobbies: Whiskey, Porno, Giving GHB to 14 Year Old Girls, Doing Anything Resembling a Drug

Roots and Influences: Wesley Willis, Pimp Daddy Welfare, The Germs, Fear

Roots and Influences Other then Those Causing Him to be an Insane Drunk Asshole: Social Distortion, Bad Religion, Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, Local H, Sex Pistols, Monster Magnet, Alice in Chains, Fear, The Germs (fear and the germs work on many levels), NOFX, Guttermouth, A.F.I., Misfits, Judas Priest

Personal Hero: Darby Crash

Proudest Accomplishment: Once built alcohol tolerance so high, that was still coherent after 3/4 a bottle of everclear and a six pack of beer.

# of Beers Dranken Last Night: ?

# of Different Drugs Abused Over Lifetime: 18

# of Girls Impressed with that fact: 0

Proudest Musical Accomplishment: Somehow managing to finish the last Helium Bomb show, despite passing out through the first half of it and ending up hogtied, and eventually wearing nothing but boxer shorts for some reason

Past Convictions: Destruction of Government Property

Goals in Life: Receiving a blow job for the sole reason of being the lead singer of Helium Bomb

Favorite Quote: "We're the Germs, Give us Beer" -Darby Crash