Can buy me love
There's no shortage of cupids willing to play matchmaker
-- for a fee
Two years ago, Constance Wrigley of Burlington, Ont. wasn't
meeting any eligible bachelors via the traditional dating channels such as
singles bars and nightclubs. So, she decided to pay a visit to the far reaches
of cyberspace in her quest for a mate. The result? Soon after logging on to
QualitySoulMates.com, Constance Wrigley was sporting a new moniker: Constance
Wrigley-Thomas.
"I consider myself the poster child for Internet
dating," enthuses Ms. Wrigley-Thomas, noting that husband-hunting online
proved fun, safe and efficient.
After Ms. Wrigley-Thomas signed up with Quality Soulmates,
she posted a detailed description of herself listing all the qualities she was
seeking in a man (including age, height, race and location). The cost of using
the service is $20 a month, which entitles clients to an unlimited number of
e-mail contacts.
Within days of posting her description, Ms. Wrigley-Thomas
says she received about 500 hits from would-be suitors. "I was
astounded," she says.
Her next task entailed separating the romantic wheat from
the chaff. "If they couldn't spell or their description consisted of one
or two statements, forget it," she says. "They had to provide me
with the right amount of information for me to make a decision."
Prior to meeting her eventual husband, she went on four
dates. While none could be described as disastrous, she wasn't romantically
interested in any of the men.
Then she began corresponding via e-mail with the man who
would become her husband, John Thomas. "John wrote beautifully," she
recalls. "I got the sense he was a good person and he was not trying to
hide anything. His intelligence caught my attention."
Mr. Thomas's photograph also scored points given that he
"was holding a golden retriever puppy."
She began corresponding with Mr. Thomas in early June, 2000.
By mid-June they were dating. "Our values matched and I thought that this
[relationship] could work," she says. By December, Mr. Thomas proposed
marriage.
These days, Ms. Wrigley-Thomas has nothing but praise for
Quality Soul Mates. "It is very effective for eliminating the doofuses of
the world," she says. "It's efficient and you can avoid the
surprises that come with blind dates."
Although The Beatles scored a number one hit in 1964 with
Can't Buy Me Love, the fact is, those longing for companionship can buy
everlasting love. And these days, thanks to the Internet and several new
twists on traditional dating services, there is a plethora of cupids all too
willing to engage in matchmaking -- for a fee, of course.
Toronto-based DinnerWorks operates by bringing together four
single men and four women for a casual dinner meeting. DinnerWorks director
Liisa Vexler says she strives to ensure all the dinner guests "share
like-minded" interests based on their personal profiles.
DinnerWorks charges an annual membership fee of $149 plus a
service fee of $15 each time a person goes to dinner. As well, each member is
responsible for his or her own dinner tab.
To date, DinnerWorks has signed up more than 500 members
between the ages of 28 and 50. Ms. Vexler says most of them tend to be people
who "don't have family here [Toronto], so beyond their work network, it
can be really tough for them to meet new people." (About half of the
members using the service have moved to Toronto within the last five years,
she says.)
If time is of the essence, a single might want to consider 9
Minute Dates -- a service that seemingly resembles a romantic version of Beat
the Clock.
Tanya Whyte, operations manager for Toronto-based 9 Minute
Dates, calls her service a "power dating organization" based on a
concept that is both simplistic and efficient: Nine women take their seats at
nine different tables within a café. Nine men then shift from table to table
every nine minutes to engage in conversation -- sort of like musical chairs
but without the music. Only first names are used and no personal details (such
as workplace, addresses or phone numbers) are given out.
At the end of the evening, the clients hand in cards
outlining with whom they would like a follow-up date. If the same two people
have indicated that they would like to meet again, the organizer phones them
and offers to put them in touch with one another.
Ms. Whyte says her "fun, safe and efficient"
service is "geared toward busy professionals. Our clients include
dentists, doctors, lawyers -- they are all well-established singles and have
everything going for them in life except a meaningful relationship."
And while nine minutes is obviously too little time to get
to know someone, Ms. Whyte says it is a perfect allotment for a blind date.
"After nine minutes, you'll know if you are or aren't interested in
someone," she says.
Clients pay $49 for the first event (which includes a
voucher for food and non-alcoholic beverages); subsequent events cost $35. Ms.
Whyte says most clients -- grouped together based on an age range -- typically
attend three meetings. So far, the service has amassed more than 2,500
clients, most of them ranging in age from their early 30s to 50s.
But if you are not Internet savvy and dinner dating is not
your cup of tea, there are plenty of traditional matchmaking services around.
Hearts Introduction Service has offices in Toronto and Vancouver and
represents more than 1,300 clients in Canada, the United States and the
Caribbean, according to Hearts president Ruth Claramunt.
The cost of hiring Ms. Claramunt as a cupid-at-large is
$1,000 for an unlimited membership. Ms. Claramunt says her clients run the
gamut from "multimillionaires to people living paycheque to paycheque."
Ms. Claramunt notes that investing $1,000 is not steep for
her services, given that "a lady will spend more than a $1,000 on a new
wardrobe or to go on a holiday in the hopes of meeting someone."
The first stage of her service entails conducting an
interview with would-be clients at their place of residence. Ms. Claramunt
says she asks "all kinds of direct questions" to determine
everything from a person's likes and dislikes to their values and goals. She
also uses the interview to screen people in case they might be hiding
something, such as that they might be married.
For those who are not on a tight budget, Ms. Claramunt also
conducts what she calls "specialized private searches for wealthy
businessmen."
With this service, Ms. Claramunt will place prominent ads in
the lifestyle sections of newspapers that will be very specific about what her
client is looking for in terms of a mate. The responses come directly to Ms.
Claramunt, who then screens applicants for suitability.
The typical cost for this service ranges between $10,000 to
$20,000, but Ms. Claramunt justifies the price tag: "If you were to use a
headhunting service, you'd pay more just to hire a sales associate," she
says.
As for her success rate as a matchmaker, Ms. Claramunt
responds: "Let's put it this way: I get invited to a lot of
weddings."
Yet, what if someone is already in a committed relationship
but is looking for something extra on the romance front? There is a new
service that purportedly serves such a need by actually arranging extramarital
affairs. Toronto-based Ashley Madison Agency goes by the slogan "For
attached women and the men who want to meet them." In a press release,
director of marketing Darren Morgenstern notes that "adultery is becoming
more common" and that anecdotal evidence suggests that the majority of
married individuals -- male and female -- will at some point cheat on their
spouses.
The service is free for women who can post a personal
profile, classified ad and up to three photographs on the agency's Web site,
ashleymadison.com. Men, however, must pay $300 for their first ad and agree to
pay an additional $10 per month "to gain access to the esoteric world of
impending lady lust."
As to the morality of such a service, Mr. Morgenstern is
unapologetic. "We don't encourage someone to cheat and don't pass
judgment when they do," he states.
However, for Ms. Wrigley-Thomas, having an extramarital
affair is the furthest thing from her mind these days. Indeed, thanks to her
online dating experience, she is now happily married. And considering she only
had to pay for one month's worth of service at Quality Soulmates, "that
was the best $$$$$$$ I've ever spent in my life."
- By David Menzies National
Post 11 May 2002
