Summary: A Draco monologue, kind of sad, kind of vague, kind of strange.

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Draco and his family and all of her other characters who worked
their way into my fic. I don’t own anyone but Odran and really, whoever wants him can have him.
I simply liked the name.

Author's Note: I don’t think Draco had a bad childhood. At all, no way, not him. He just doesn’t
seem like the product of one. That said, I’d like to thank the two people who betaed this for me,
Andrew (who doesn’t have a decent pen-name) and Strega Brava (who wonderful stories that you
should all read). I’d also like to thank Kazzi K, even though she didn’t beta this one (yet…), because
she’s just that cool. Ok, all done now.  All reviews are appreciated.

Draco

by Ron
 
 
 

As a child, my father would sit me on his knee and tell me how proud I made him. He would
always call me ‘my little dragon.’ He used to tell me how I was the greatest thing he had ever
accomplished, and that he knew I would always protect the honor that came with the Malfoy
surname. He said he would always love me. I am Draco, the father’s son.

Father was my hero. I wanted to be just like him: strong, respected, handsome, and brave.
My mother once asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said I wanted to be my
father. She asked me if I meant a father, and I said, “No, I want to be Daddy.” She frowned,
and at the time I didn’t understand why. Now I do. I am Draco, the naive son.

When he found out that I was getting married, he was thrilled. After all, I’d grown up to be a
mirror of him. What more could he wish for than that I, his only son, get married and have a
son of my own? He said, “My little dragon has found himself a wife. How glorious. When will
I meet her?” My heart stopped. I knew he would want to meet her, and I knew he would
disown me for my choice. Not only was she a Gryffindor, but she also had “despicable lineage”,
as my father called it. I told him that I had ministry business to take care of, and left quickly. I
am Draco, the cowardly son.

I told her that night. She said that she understood, and that if I would rather please my father she
would understand. It hurt. On the one side was my father, who had my respect and admiration.
I idolized him. On the other was my fiancée. I loved her more than anything. She was perfect. I
am Draco, the torn son.

We got married in a small private ceremony. Her parents and a few of her friends were invited.
My father was not and neither was my mother; it would be too risky. Neither of them knew her
yet. It rained that day, but I did not care; I love rain. The way it sounds when it hits the ground.
The way it smells so fresh and clean. The way it brings life to all, and yet still holds the power to
destroy everything in its path. Rain is like love. I am Draco the hopeless son.

Her friends understood that I loved her. They knew how much my father meant to me. They
said that if I would give up my father for her, then they approved. Five years ago I would not
have cared in the least. Oh boy, the approval of Harry Potter. I cared now. I cared because
she cared. Father once told me that women made men weak. I am weak, but I cherish every
second of it. I am Draco, the weak son.

I told father that we have been too busy to get married, but the engagement is still on. We have
been married for a year and a half. He has no idea. I am almost afraid of him. What is he going
to do when he finds out? He will not hurt her though. I will not let him. My lies are to protect her
now. When he learns the truth, there will only be me to protect her, and I am weak. I am Draco,
the lying son.

She told me she was going to have a baby. I was so happy, this was my answer. I would show
him what I have done, and he would be proud of me. He would forget about my past decisions
and realize that I am happy, and that I have become like him. I have everything; I am complete.
All I need is my father. I can only hope that I will be as good a father as mine was to me; except
I will not let him fear me. I am afraid of my father. When our child is born, there will be no
reason to fear him. He will be proud of me again. I am Draco, the hopeful son.

We picked out a name for him, well, a way to name him when he comes. We found a book
of saints' names. When he is born, we will open to a random page in the book and use the first
name there. Unless it is something like Hubert. I refuse to have a son named Hubert. Or Bean.
If we come across a name like those, we’ll just have to skip it. I will not have a son named
Bean. My father would never approve of that. I am Draco, the reasonable son.

My mother died. I never got to tell her that I was married, or that she was going to be a
grandmother. I did not cry at her funeral, I was too worried about my wife. It was hot, and she
was nearly nine months along. She had to stay at the house; I didn’t want my father to see her
yet. He would recognize her and my plans would be ruined. I was worried that she was going to
go into labor prematurely, or that someone would break into the house, or that there would be
a fire, and countless other unreasonable thoughts. I do not think my father noticed. I am Draco,
the paranoid son.

My son’s name is Odran. He is beautiful. He has her large, lively eyes, and my blond hair. I
never knew I could love someone this much, but when I look at him, I see my father, my wife,
and myself in one, tiny package. He is perfect. It feels as if I have been born again. I have
become my father, and I couldn’t be happier. My life is complete. All I needed was to show
my father. He will be proud of me. I am Draco, the complete son.

I went to see my father. He said he had something to tell me. He told me he had killed over
fifty people. I knew that. Since he was a Death Eater; he had killed people. He said that he
had killed my mother. He told me that he wanted to kill me when I was a baby, but my mother
protested. My mother saved my life. I felt like trash. I remembered all the terrible things I had
said to my mother. Sometimes I had even made her cry. I had never tried to hurt my father; I
had always loved him. And all along he hated me. It appears I was misplaced my trust. I am
Draco, the shattered son.

I told my father that I had been married for over two years, and that I had a son now. He was
startled. He asked me whom I had married and I told him. He was ashamed. Then he met my
son. He apologized to me. He told me that I was not to expect more; since I had married
someone with ‘tainted blood’ I was angry. I stormed out of his office and I do not plan to see
him again. Ever. I am Draco, the disgraced son.

My father was killed, but I did not care. He was my father, but he never loved me. I hope I
am not like him, and yet I hope I am. I had a wonderful childhood; I couldn’t have asked for
anything more. I had it all. I was just blind to the monster that was my father. It does not matter
now; he is dead. He is not coming back. I want to focus on being a good father to son, my
little saint. I am Draco, Odran’s father.