Part 4 of 4
In this final installment I will relate an EFT session with Bob that was performed over the phone using nothing but intentional EFT. Bob called me one evening as he was driving back to an apartment he had recently moved out of after a very emotional break up. He was clearly upset from his manner of speaking.
Since he was driving and had about 20 minutes until he arrived at his destination, he asked if there were any energetic corrections I could offer to help him get some relief from this overwhelming sadness and fear of getting even sadder when he arrived. I told him I could try out some intentional EFT I had been practicing if he was up for it. He said he was up for anything.
To get started I asked Bob what exactly was going on in his life to cause distress. He explained that after he broke up with his girlfriend he had moved out of his apartment in the city and moved back to his house in the country. When he left, he only took one car load of essentials and had quite a lot more of his belongings still at the apartment. He told me he was holding on to his apartment until the lease was up instead of going through the hassle of trying to get out of the lease. He mentioned he was now driving back to the apartment to get more of his belongings.
He felt confident about making the trip at first. As he got nearer to his destination, however, he said he started remembering the good times and was afraid he wouldn’t be able to handle all the things that reminded him about the relationship when he arrived.
Specifically he was afraid of seeing the pictures on the wall. He felt they may bring up some very deep sadness. He was also afraid that his ex-girlfriend might have left a note or something near the entry way. Bob broke up with her because of her manipulative narcissism and he feared she might say just the right things in a note to try and get him back.
I asked Bob what part of his explanation was most prominent in his awareness. Bob replied, “I really hope she hasn’t left a note. I know this was for the best, but I’m afraid an attempt to get me back might work.” So I asked Bob, “What is the predominant emotion you feel in your body when you think about the possibility of her leaving a note, and on a scale from one to ten how intense is it?”
Bob replied, “It is mainly fear that I won’t know how to respond. It is pretty high, about an 8 or 9. I can feel it all through my body.” I then explained since he was driving all he needed to do was tune into the emotion anyway he could. He didn’t need to tap on anything or distract himself in anyway from driving. Then I asked him to give me few seconds to apply the procedure.
Note: Here is the procedure I used for every issue of Bob’s during this session.
First, I imagined a pulsing swirling light over where Bob’s sore spot would be. (I’ve worked with Bob in person before, so I know what he looks like. I imagine if you were doing this on a person you don’t know, you could just imagine the general body shape of a male or female and do the same.) Then I mentally recited, “Even though Bob is afraid of how he’ll respond, I deeply and completely accept him” three times.
Second, I imagined his eyebrow, side of eye, under eye, under nose, under lip, collarbone, under arm and top of head point glowing with a warm light. I imagined these points of light simultaneously, not one at a time. Then I mentally repeated, “He doesn’t know what he’ll do.” I repeated this about three to four times, at which point I felt some relaxation in my own body and heard Bob yawn. Basically I keep repeating the phrase while envisioning all the points glowing until I witness or intuit some kind of release.
Another Note: Myself and others have found that you can usually tell when something is being resolved when doing this manner of work when either the practitioner or the client yawns, takes a deep breath, coughs or sighs. It has been our experience that immediately after this type of release, the intensity of the issue will be lower.
I then asked Bob about his fear of the letter. He then said he felt his body relax a bit and he doesn’t feel so much afraid as he does anger. I asked, “What is the anger from?” He replied, “That she may still be trying to manipulate me, that she could betray me like that and still try to control me.” I asked what was most prominent the manipulation, the betrayal or the control? He said they were all rolled up in one. I asked for an intensity level of the anger. He said it was about a 9.
So I imagined the sore spot swirling with warm light and mentally repeated the first thing that came to mind, “Who does she think she is” three times. Then I visualized the points listed above glowing while mentally repeating the same phrase, “Who does she think she is?”
This took more repetitions than the first try. After 8 or so repetitions I yawned and he immediately reported the anger had lessened. I asked him what it was now on the 1-10 scale. He said, “About a 2. It is more of an annoyance than anything else.” So I again visualized all the points lit up while mentally repeating, “this remaining anger.” After 3 repetitions of this phrase I heard him sigh into the phone. He then said, “Well, the anger is gone, but now I just feel used.” I made a mental note of this comment, but wanted to make sure all the anger and fear over the possible letter was resolved.
To check the work I asked him to think about entering his apartment and finding a note from her. He replied, “There is no intensity. I could just as easily toss it in the trash.” I asked, “So no fear comes up from thinking about her manipulating you back into the relationship?” He said, “No.” I further probed, “And no anger about her trying to control you or manipulate you after what she has done?” He again replied, “No.” He again stated now he just felt “used”.
So I asked him to describe the used feeling. I asked, “What images or bodily sensations do you get when you tune into this used feeling?” He said he got flashes of the pictures of the girl on the wall of his apartment and said they made him sad that all the good times felt empty. So I told him to tune into that used feeling as best he could while driving and give me a few moments.
Again, I went with the first thoughts that came into my head, “She was just using me. None of it was real.” I decided to skip the Setup phrase this time and just jump right in to visualizing the points glowing while mentally repeating the phrase, “She was just using me. None of it was real.”
This time a shift almost occurred instantly. I barely repeated the phrase one time to myself and I had a sense the issue was resolved. I immediately asked what he was experiencing now. He said, “Nothing.” I inquired, “No used feeling? Think about those pictures and entering your apartment. Think about gathering up your belongings. No intensity?” He replied, “No. Now I just feel tired, like I’m tired of thinking about this. I guess I do feel sad that things turned out the way they did.” He then told me he was pulling into the apartment complex and he would call me back once he got inside.
A few minutes later, Bob called back. He said there was no letter, so that was good, but he was still having this remaining sadness over the loss of the relationship as he gathered up his things. He sounded a little teary when he admitted this. I asked him what was most bothersome about it. He replied, “That the relationship didn’t turn out as expected.”
So I went through the same procedure of imagining the points glowing while mentally reciting, “This sadness. Things didn’t turn out as I hoped.” After 5-6 repetitions I felt more relaxation in my body and asked him how he was doing. He said, “Hmm. I’m fine now. It’s not like this is the end of my life or anything.” I probed further, “So as you walk around the apartment and look around, you are not struck by any particular emotional intensity?” He said, “No. I’m glad to be free of her. She was an energy drain.”
So after confirming his emotional state was back to normal we ended the call.
Some Self EFT to Use to Break Through Blocks for Using Intentional EFT
Here is a list of EFT phrases I used on myself to help me move through any mental blocks that prevented me from doing intentional EFT successfully.
1) Even though I disbelieve this is possible....
2) Even though I’m afraid something will go wrong....
3) Even though my powers of visualization are weak....
4) Even though my imagination cannot affect reality....
5) Even though I am not able to do this ....
6) Even though I am not willing to bear this responsibility....
7) Even though I am not ready for this kind of work....
8) Even though I don’t deserve to be able to do this....
9) Even though I don’t have the proper neural association to do this....
10) Even though I don’t welcome the permission to do this....
Closing Thoughts
More than anything, intentional EFT takes practice and diligence to do well. I do have a friend that seemed to catch on as if he’d been doing it all his life, but for me it took determination and commitment. It also took trust that I had the capability. The methods described in these articles are just what worked for me. Be creative and follow your own intuition. I wrote these articles just to give you some ideas and to see that it is possible. Don’t let failure prevent you from trying. Nearly all true successes occur after a failure. If you are afraid of failing, use EFT to get over it! Good luck and have fun.
Ryan Kurczak