WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS EMMIDIATELY PUT UP FOR ADDOPTION, NOT LONG AFTER MY CURRENT DAD AND MY MOM CAME AND SIGN THE PAPERS TO TAKE ME HOME. SO AS YOU CAN IMMAGINE I NEVER REALLY GOT TO KNOW MY PARENTS OR EVEN KNOW WHO THEY WERE. MY DAD HAS MERRIED TWICE SO I HAVE FOUR SIBILINGS THE NEXT YOUNGEST WAS MY DADS SECOND WIFES SON (HOPE YOU GOT THAT). MY DAD AND HIS SECOND WIFE ARE MY PARENTS. I HAVE NO WAY TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY BLOOD FAMILY BUT HOPEFULLY NEXT TIME IM IN THE AREA OF MY BIRTH PLACE I HOPE TO LOOK FOR SOME TYPE OF RECORD. THEN I CAN LOOK FOR THEM AND IF I EVER MEET THEM I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY I WAS GIVEN UP, I DONT CARE IF ITS BECAUSE I WAS A MISTAKE OR WHATEVER IT WONT BOTHER ME. BUT ANYWAYS NOT MUCH HAPPENED INBETWEEN THEN AND WHEN MY MOM DIED IN '92 AS MENTIONED IN "LEFT ME BLUE". SINCE THEN MY BELIEF OF GOD AND ANY OTHER RELIGION DISAPEARED FROM MY MIND. AS WELL AS MY PERSONALITY CHANGED FROM THIS. SUCH AS IF MY MOM WAS STILL ALIVE I WOULD PROBABLY BE A VERY CLEAN CUT PREPPY PERSON. NOT TO SAY IM GLAD SHES GONE BUT I AM GLAD I DIDNT TURN OUT THAT WAY BECAUSE I WOULDNT KNOW AND BE FRIENDS WITH THE SAME PEOPLE AS I AM NOW. WHEN I GOT TO THE MIDDLE SCHOOL AND MET WILL AND JOE, THE "BULLYING" SEEMED TO SETTLE (AFTER 3RD GRADE PEOPLE PICKED ON ME ALL THE TIME) SO I WAS MORE CONFORTABLE AROUND OTHERS. I THEN BEGAN TO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND MORE AS KNOWLEDGE WAS SHARED. YET STILL WHEN I TOLD SOME PEOPLE THINGS THEY DIDNT ALWAYS BELEIVE ME. SO WHEN I STARTED FEELING ILL IN THE STOMACH A LOT MORE THAN I SHOULD HAVE. NOT SOON AFTER MANY TIMES OF BEING SICK THE NURSE AT MY MIDDLE SCHOOL STARTED THINKING I WAS FAKING BEING ILL. SO AS YOU COULD IMAGINE THE MOMENT WHEN I WAS MORE SICK THAN EVER SHE DIDNT BELEIVE ME. IT THEN GOT SO BAD I ENDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL FOR APPENDICITISE (YOUR APPENDIX INFLAMES TO POP WITH TOXIC FLUIDS) AND IF IT WASNT TREATED I MAY HAVE DIED. A COUPLE MONTHS LATER I WAS FEELING EQUALY AS ILL AS THEN AND WAS WORRIED THAT I COULD BE IN THE SAME PLACE AS LAST TIME. GREATFULLY I WASNT BUT EARLIER IN THE WEEK ONE OF MY TEACHERS ALMOST SENT ME OVER THE EDGE BY MAKING FUN OF ME AND THE WAY I AM. SO WHEN THIS INCODENT HAPPENED WITH THE NURSE I LOST IT AND LOCKED MYSELF IN THE RESTROOM. WHEN MY DAD AND OTHERS GOT ME I WAS IN TERRIBLE SHAPE. THEY ALL PUT ME INTO THE PSYCHIATRIC CENTER FOR MY ANGER. AFTER A WEEK OF THAT I WAS IN THEREOPY FOR YEARS TO COME. AS THEY PLACED MY IN 8 1 1 CLASSES IN COHEN MIDDLE SCHOOL FOR MORE SUPPERVISION. OBVIOUSLT THAT WASNT ENOUGH I BEGAN GOING DOWNHILL AND HANGING OUT WITHT THE WRONG PEOPLE. I THEN BROKE INTO ABOUT 6-7 HOUSES AND STOLL AROUND 9-10 CARS. SO I ENDED UP WITH A YEAR OF PROBATION.AFTER THAT I STARTED BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK MY GRADES WENT UP AND MY DESICIONS IN LIFE STARTED TO GET BETTER. AS MY CONSIONCE WAS GETTING BETTER I STARTED TO THINK ABOUT MY FUTURE A LITTLE MORE. SO I STARTED ACTUALLY GOING TO CLASSES AND OTHER THINGS I HAD TO DO. WHEN I REACHED THE HIGH SCHOOL WHERE I MET RICKY IS WHEN THIS STUFF HAD HAPPENED. AS WELL AS MANY OTHER BAD DESICIONS I HAD MADE IN MY LIFE. BUT AS TIME MOVED ON I MADE MORE FRIENDS LIKE RYAN AND JOHN AND BEGAN TO CARE NOTHING AT ALL OF WHAT PEOPLE THOUGHT OF ME SO THAT IS WHERE I AM AT NOW.
