HOT GOSS THAT PURE ROT

SOME RUMOURS HAVE BEEN CIRCUALATING ABOUT ME, AND I WANT TO CLARIFY THEM RIGHT NOW:

  1. I DON'T KNOW WHAT BIG WORDS MEAN.

    2. NOT TRUE - BIG WORDS MEAN THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYWAY

  2. I'M A MARXIST

    3. JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED 'GO WEST' AND 'AT THE CIRCUS' A FEW WEEKS AGO DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING

  3. I HAVE LEANINGS TO THE LEFT

    4. I'M AMBIDEXTRIOUS - I'LL TAKE WHATEVER SIDE I CAN GET

  4. I'M A PROUD AND STUBBORN MAN

    5. I AM OBVIOUSLY HUMBLE, AND YOU WILL NEVER CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

  5. I'M AN OPTIMIST

    6. PLAINLY NOT TRUE, I GET SOMEONE ELSE TO MAKE MY GLASSES

  6. THERE'S THREE THINGS WRONG WITH ME, I'M BIG, FAT AND UGLY

    7. WRONG, BEING BIG MEANS I'M FAT AND UGLY, IT'S ACTUALLY ONE THING NOT THREE, AND IF THAT WAS ALL THAT WAS WRONG WITH ME I COULD GO ON A DIET

  7. I HAVE A SHOW CALLED BOX 14 ON 1 TO 3PM ON SATURDAYS ON HHH100.1 FM, AND I'M GOING TO HARRASS EVERONE UNTIL THEY LISTEN TO IT, AND IF THEY DON'T I'LL DO AN AUNTY JACK

GUILTY AS CHARGED, EXCEPT THE BIT ABOUT THE DRESS…