| The Treason Of Isengard |
| Saruman: The hour is upon us as smoke rises from Mordor and Gandalf The Grey rides to Isengard seeking my council. For is that not why you are here....you old wanker. Gandalf: Saruman, you old tosser. How are you? Saruman: Quater past three. Gandalf: What?! Saruman: So why are you here? Gandalf: Erm....the one ring has been found. Its been in the Shire all this time, right under my very nose. Saruman: Your rose? Gandalf: Nose. Saruman: Toes? Gandalf: N...O...S...E! Nose! As Gandalf saw the blank expression fall across Sarumans face, he decided to carry on talking. Gandalf: So what is your council Saruman? Saruman: What? Did you just call me a flowerman? What are you trying to say Gandalf? Gandalf: I'm asking for your help Saruman, i never called you a flowerman... Saruman: You just did it again. You just said "your a flowerman, Saruman". Gandalf: What?! Saruman: Now your not even listening,...thats just rude! Stop pissing around and being horrible Gandalf, you need to know that The Nine have left Minus Morgul. They crossed the river Isen on Midsummers Eve. They will find the ring and kill the one who carries it. Gandalf: Did you say....The Nine Saruman? Saruman: Say it one more time Gandalf, i dare you! Gandalf: Saruman, listen to me, i didn't....... Saruman: Right! Thats it! Gandalf: Oh just show me the fricken staircase myself and i'll walk to the roof. With that Gandalf banished himself to being Sarumans prisoner. Meanwhile somewhere in the Shire the Ringwraiths (The Nine) were close to discovering the whereabouts of Frodo and the ring. 6:00 in the evening on a typical day in the Shire, a hobbit was leisurely chopping wood when a sense of dread fell over him. He looked up and saw a black horse approaching...with a rider clad in black. Ringwraith One: Sssshire.....Bagginssss? Hobbit: No Baggins around here. They're all up in Hobbiton. Ringwraith One:.......Ssssshit. I think we took a wrong turn. Thatssss all your fault Derick! Looking back at the other riders that had approached from the shadows, one bowed his head and sniffed. The leader of The Nine turned his attention back to the hobbit. Ringwraith One: Sssssorry about this. I'm not disssturbing you am i? Hobbit: No...no...i was just out here while my misses puts my kids to bed... Ringwraith: Awww i love children. I'll make a deal with you. You go and draw me a map to Hobbiton and i'll help your wife put your children to sssleep. Hobbit: O...Okay... The leader of the Ringwraiths got down from his horse and made his way to the hobbit hole. He let himself in and found his way to the childrens bedroom. The four little hobbit children were horrified to see the large black figure with no face walk through the door hissing. Ringwraith One: Time for a sssstory children. The children stared up at him as he sat on the edge of the bed and started his story. Ringwraith One: Once upon a time there was a dark lord called Sauron. He wanted to rule all of Middle Earth. One day he made 9 magical rings and to 9 different men he gave each a ring. Now what the men didn't know was that the rings would consume them, their lives. It mangled their faces, their bodies and their souls.....until eventually they were neither living nor dead. Eight of these men are standing outside this very hobbit hole. And do you know where the other one is? The children shook their heads. Ringwraith One:........HERE! Night night children! Sssssweet dreamssss..... He left the children shaking and crying in their beds and went back outside to his horse to wait for the hobbit to bring his map. He didn' wait long for the hobbit to come running out of his house with a map in his hand. Ringwraith One: Thankssss for the map and all of you time. Sssorry about all the throuble causssed. Cheerio! And with that the nine Ringwraiths were on their way to Hobbiton. |
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