Here is a complete list of every Phoebe song to date, at least I think this is all of them.
Smelly Cat
Smelly Cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault
They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favorite pet
You may not be a bed of roses
And you're no friend to those with noses
Smelly Cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault
Bi-Sexuals
Sometimes men love women
And sometimes men love men
And then there are bi-sexuals
Though some just say they're kidding themselves
La la la la la la la la la la...
The Shower song
I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it.
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And Tegrin spelled backwards is Nirget
And lather, rinse, repeat
And lather, rinse, repeat
And lather, rinse, repeat...as needed
Two of Them Kissed Last Night
There was a girl we'll call her Betty
And a guy let's call him Neil
Now, I can't stress this point too strongly
This story isn't real...
Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
Or will it be the one who we'll call L-L-Lulie?
He must decide
He must decide
Even though I made him up
He must decide
Grandparents
Now grandma's a person who everyone likes
She bought you a train and a bright shiny bike
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her, she looked so much thinner
Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru
But the truth is she died, and some day you will too
La la la la la la la la la la...
Don't
There'll be times when you get older
When you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you
But DON'T, cause
That's another thing that you don't wanna do
That's another thing that you don't wanna do
Barnyard Animals
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers
Nowwwwwwwwww chickens!
The Snowman
I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin'
How was I supposed to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchin
La la la la la la la la la la...
Babies
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
But soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
You cry and you cry and you cry
And you cry and you cry and you cry
Blackout
New York City has no power
And the milk is getting sour
But to me that is not scary
Cause I stay away from dairy
La la la la la la la la la la...
A Few of My Favorite Things
Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens...
Bluebells and sleighbells and something with mittens...
La la la la la la la la la la...
My Mother's Ashes
My mother's ashes,
Even her eyelashes,
Are resting in a little yellow jar.
And sometimes when it's breezy.
Or when I'm feeling sneezy.
Coma Guy's Song
You don't have to be awake to be my man
As long as you have brainwaves,
I'll be there to hold your hand.
Though we just met the other day,
There's something I got to say...
They Found their Bodies
They found their bodies the very next day,
They found their bodies the very...next...day...
La la la la la la la la la...
The Charity Song
When I play, I play for me,
I don't need your charity,
La la la la la la la la la la...
Double Jointd Boy
...He was a double, double,
Double Jointed Boy
Terry's a Jerk
Terry's a jerk,
And he won't let me work,
And I hate Central Perk!
***
You're all invited to bite me!
Rats
...And the crusty old man said,
"I'll do what I can",
And the rest of the rats played morroccas!
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