You wake up, and the first thought that finds your brain is:

Mmm... Bed so warm and cozy...
... Eh, five more minutes...
Alright! Time to please the master and do some evil doin's!
..heh...heh heh.. ha.. hah..HAH! HA HA!!!! MWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You move to your window, and find that it's raining outside. Initially you had plans. What are you thinking?

There's no way in hell that I'm going out there today!
Whoops! Better grab my umbrella today.
... (Grins)
No problem. My hair looks the same- rain or shine.

If you won a beauty pageant, with crown, roses, and all, your speech would go a little something like this:

EEEE!! I won I won I won!!!!! I feel so pretty!!! (Giggle) YAY!!
Why is everyone applauding..? What's going on? Where can I hide?
(Sweatdrop) Well, uhh... I'm pretty flattered, but actually that's not why I'm here...
Heh heh heh... (Sets bouquet of roses aflame)

Okay, okay. Everyone's curious now. Boxers or briefs?

(Sweatdrop) ... Well they let me move easier, okay?! (Blush)
Check for yourself. (Saucy grin)
I cannot be troubled with your insolence!
... Huh?

How would you describe that man over there?

(Hearts!) What a dreamboat!!!
He's over there.
Where?
.. You're just waiting for me to say "Tall, dark, and handsome", aren't you?

You want to show that you care about someone. What's your mode of affection?

Butterfly kisses.
Wine... candles... fire... (Twitch)
I... I... argh.. Why is this so hard?!
Anything as long as it annoys 'em!

You walk into some kind of tavern. Where do you want to hang out?

No time to hang out. I'm on a mission.
Excuse me, bartender, but... can you tell me where I am?
Hm.. I'm sure I have friends here..
Well, this is a tavern, right? Time for some sleep.

You settle into a tub full of green water. You relax, thankful for your bath. You hear a slight shuffle of feet, and some giggling, but you don't mind it. You go on and get out, get dressed, etc. After a night's rest, you go about your normal business, when suddenly you're stopped by a gang of school girls! The leader is holding a picture of you touching yourself in the bathtub! Omigawd, whatcha gonna DO, man?!?!?!

GAH!! (Look around for people you know) How.. did you get that?!
....(BLUSH)
I-- green water?
Try to sell pictures of the other 358 angles of your badass naked self.

You just snuck into an enemy's house, and now you're waiting for him/her to get home, so you can surprise them. In the meantime, you...

Take a nap on his/her bed. (Yeah, the drool will totally make 'em mad, man!)
Look through their things for things with which to embarass them.
Strike a sexy pose on his/her couch and wait.
Not here? Ah, well. Might as well go home.

You don't sleep with socks on, do you?

It depends. Do they match my pajamas?
Yes. Why bother taking them off?
Yes.. wait, no... Crap! Rephrase the question, dammit!
Naw. Any excuse to be nude, man!

Life suddenly turns into a musical! When you come "on stage", what song plays?

"Good Day Sunshine" by the Beatles
"Never Gonna Get It" by En Vogue
"Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack
Something jazzy.

Pick a phallic symbol:

Mop.
Bottle.
Tree.
Pink glass bowl.

And finally, what is the best way of comfronting a come-on?

Sorry, but I've got a universe that still doesn't call me sovereign. I consider that chore a tad more important than going home with you.
Make it a point to kill the bastard later.
My place or yours?
.. My place? Sorry, but there's way too many people there already.

(Coding tricks stolen from the beatle test, stolen from somebody else, probably stolen from somebody else. Special thanks to Unkate!!)