HOW
TO BE WYATT EARP
With these
surefire tips, you too can be on the road to immortality. The road to being
WYATT EARP.
Ten
Eleven Steps to being Wyatt Earp.
- Hit
people. Lots of people. Everybody. Strangers, law breakers, your family, your
friends, infants.
- Tell everyone your name.
It will strike fear.
- Be mean to your best
friend. Then make sure he continues sucking up to you.
- Be mean to your friends
wife. But only after sleeping with her.
- Get yourself a fancy
race horse. Name it something striking - such as a future athlete's name.
- Take your
wife for granted. Take your brothers' wives for granted. Women aren't really
people, anyway.
- While on the subject,
people aren't really people either. Unless they're an Earp. Or sometimes Doc.
- Take advantage of your
brothers' accomplishments. After all an Earp did do it, who cares which one it actually was.
- Never get hit by a bullet.
This will put a severe dent in your Wyatt persona. Wyatt is not only bullet
proof, he is invincible.
- The law is not meant
to be broken. The law is meant to be enforced. But its okay for you to break
it. You're Wyatt Earp.
- Wyatt knows best. Take
care of your brothers, they're lost without you.