ONSLAUGHT

Nothing we know...

FORGET WHAT HAS BEEN

"But wait a second,isn't The Juggernaut and his armor physically indestructible,even against forces that devastated Galactus and shattered a Celestial's protective dome?"

Yes,but disregard characterization here. It'll only confuse you. Within the confines of the Onslaught world no one was themself. The very next Juggernaut appearence there are no holes so I really have no idea what to make of them. Such signs of rushing and lazy storytelling abound throughout the crossover and it's quite frankly impossible to tell what was supposed to be the real deal and what was just a deadline mistake.

Anyways,after a small diatribe between Bishop and Beast Juggernaut awakens and is in an irrational,unintelligible frenzy. Psylocke then uses her psychic knife on Juggernaut's psychic-proof helmet to try and clear his head. Psylocke picks up Juggernaut's thoughts psychically that he must get away. Keep this little exchange in your mind as you read on. Beast then grabs The Unstoppable Juggernaut and...flips him over slamming Juggernaut into the ground to calm him down. ...Yeah. Alrighty then...

Beast drills Juggernaut for info as Juggernaut lies on his back and Bishops stands at the defensive ready with power lines. Beast asks where Juggernaut thought he was and Juggernaut says it has to be Canada. Beasts asks why is that and Juggernaut says because that's where the guy hit him. Juggernaut asks Beast where they are. When Beast says they're in New Jersey Juggernaut flips out saying that was impossible. On Beast's signal Bishop hits Juggernaut with the entire city's worth of electricity from the power lines which makes Juggernaut slump back down. Beast marvels at how weak Juggernaut must be since normally he would barely feel that. Juggernaut eventually gives the name of who did this to him. "Onslaught". He doesn't remember much of the fight apparently except for being punched. To add extra nonsense and shock value to the story Onslaught not only supposedly has punched Juggernaut across Canada to New York,but he sent him crashing to the exact position of the X-Men who Juggernaut apparently was going to to warn them about him. How or why this attack did The Juggernaut any physical damage,how Onslaught was able to know exactly where and when Juggernaut would land,or how Onslaught had such physical strength when he supposedly only had the powers of Professor X and Magneto is never explained. But don't worry since by the time the story is over so many such inexplicable occurences pop up you really just don't care anymore. This could have just been a false implanted memory of what happened since it's all Juggernaut seems to recall,but who knows.

X-Men #42:The Juggernaut makes a brief cameo. I don't know why or how but apparently between his last appearence and here he must have blinked out because for some reason he's unconscious yet again and on a table being examined while the X-Men discuss other things.

"Wait a second,he's still hurt? Doesn't even when damaged The Juggernaut heal instantly because of the magic coursing through his veins?"

Look,anyone dumb enough to face Onslaught deserves the writing they get.

Wolverine #96:Juggernaut runs around in fear of Onslaught for the bulk of his appearence here,then gets teleported to the Ultraverse. Somewhere in the middle though Cannonball knocks himself stupid flying his nigh-invulnerable blast field into The Juggernaut's totally invulnerable body. Imagine that.

X-Men #53:Juggernaut pops back into this dimension into Psylocke and Archangel's home trying to reveal a secret he has. He finds however that he cannot remember what that secret is due to Onslaught's psionics so he leaves for better help. He doesn't know what his secret is in this issue, but in the next he does know what it is. In the Onslaught crossover the left hand never seemed to know what the right was doing. Also,Archangel was wary to trust Juggernaut in the first place but was assured by Psylocke that Juggernaut was in fact speaking the truth. How she knew is very interesting in a Who-the-Hell-is-writing-this??? sort of way.

Uncanny X-Men #334:Juggernaut returns to Westchester. He wonders why he's so afraid of Onslaught. He can't figure out what it is about him that has him so frightened. He seeks aid from Jean Grey to help get past whatever Onslaught did to his head. Jean Grey puts on her uniform and leads Juggernaut to a psi-shielded chamber.

X-Men 54:Jean Grey is now in streetclothes again and no-prizes are offered in-comic for those who noticed. Obviously with Onslaught there was such a bulk of them they had to start giving them away to clear space. More can be found later.

After a little chatter and a deep probe Jean finds a psychic block and with Juggernaut's help finds out who Onslaught is. She also notices that Juggernaut didn't close the chamber door all the way meaning they weren't shielded psionically. Why is this bad? Because coincidentally,Onslaught is a psion. And if you like that coincidence you might also like that Juggernaut just this once decided to get careless and left his helmet lying around somewhere. Knowing now that Onslaught is Xavier Jean tells Juggernaut to run since they were in Xavier's house revealing he was Onslaught. And that Xavier most likely knew about it because of coincidence numero uno.

Juggernaut tries to run but Onslaught is psychically warping his perception of the mansion into an indiscernable maze. Juggernaut then bursts through the door of Xavier's study looking for safety. To his surprise instead of his hated step-brother he finds Onslaught. Who apparently not only is an incredibly strong little plot device but a gigantic one as well and picks Juggernaut up and holds him between his fingers as though he were a plaything. Cain apparently at that instant forgets just exactly what being The Juggernaut means and begs for Onslaught not to kill him. Onslaught offers a reminder though saying that killing Juggernaut is impossible since the magics bonded to him make him totally indestructible. It can never be said Onslaught wasn't up to speed.

Luckily though, Onslaught used his mutant power of impossibility and made that story-haulting little fact about The Juggernaut disappear. He then,casually,with his fingertips,digs through Juggernaut's indestructible armor and physically unbreakable skin and pulls out the Gem of Cyttorak. Rendering Juggernaut powerless.

"Now wait a %&*@in' second here. When the hell was the Gem of Cyttorak ever in Juggernaut's chest?!!?"

The second Onslaught needed it to be there. It doesn't matter that the gem has never been in any part of Juggernaut's body. It doesn't matter that there are numerous stories showing the gem. As you may not have noticed by now that's how things in the Onslaught Universe tended to work. If to churn out the story he wants you to all of a sudden have a ruby the size of a cantalope embedded between your lungs,you will all of a sudden have a ruby the size of a cantalope embedded between your lungs. Yes,I know that's ridiculous.

The Onslaught Universe motto:"Hey,whatever works."

Onslaught:X-Men:Onslaught gets prepared to deal with the X-Men and leaves the gem lying on his desk. On a closer look we see that Juggernaut is somehow trapped inside of it banging to get out.

"Wait a second,now how did Onslaught..."

With his Onslaught powers,silly.

X-Men Unlimited #12:Juggernaut finds himself inside the Crimson Cosmos wondering where he is. Odd considering this is his third time being there,but leave it alone. He's also just had a stone that wasn't really there in the first place ripped out of his chest but doesn't seem to have any sign of it save for a hole in his armor. Doesn't make alot of sense to me but I'm used to it by this time in the story. He then meets a wizard named Gomuur. In the Onslaughtverse Gomuur is one of two wizards who supposedly created the gem of Cyttorak long ago and trapped Cyttorak in it. Which was funny since as far as I know until we entered the world of Onslaught, Cyttorak created the gem himself. The story has always been that when Cyttorak was banished from Earth he left the power of the Juggernaut behind there. But,whatever works. I've always felt that when writing an origin issue,actually knowing the origin of the character you're writing it about isn't that big a necessity. And I for one was glad to see the Onslaught creative team echoes that sentiment.

If you feel something is amiss and can't quite put your finger on just exactly what it is,it might be that Cyttorak actually looks like these the pictures here. But when you're blatantly making a story up as you go along why not say "Screw it!" and do it up all the way? So Juggernaut is lead to this Onslaught Cyttorak. His new look goes totally unappreciated by The Juggernaut however since apparently as far as the Onslaught Universe is concerned this is Juggernaut's first time meeting him(???). No I am not making this up.

Look for yourself.

"But wait a second,didn't Juggernaut already meet Cyttorak up close and personal right here in Dr.Strange #44?"

Welcome to the world of Onslaught kids. All your continuity are belong to him.

If you're not the biggest fan of the Onslaught Cyttorak then fear not. With the help of the two wizards who supposedly trapped that Onslaught Cyttorak there in the first place Juggernaut gets his powers back and engages him in battle. Destroying him actually. How does one beat their benefactor? Easy. You just ram into him. That's all you have to do. Yes,Juggernaut ran into Cyttorak,and Cyttorak blew up. No I am not making this up either. That's really how he killed him.

If you were still expecting a quality story by this point then you deserve any disappointment you recieve. The bad part is that the writer of this story seems fairly talented. But he was apparently put in a situation where he was working with an unfamiliar character and got no help from his editors.

X-Men Unlimited #13:Juggernaut visits one of his childhood memory locales and is soon provoked into wrecking the town. Gomuur shows up and points out that his destructive tendencies are bold blaring signs that the power of The Juggernaut controls Cain Marko and not vice versa. Cain says he'll be his own man and walks off.

Mercifully this is the last of Juggernaut's involvement in the mindnumbingly flawed Onslaught crossover. And ironically the story was not half bad. A sign of recovery from the madness? Let's see...