I AM JOHN
I Am Divorced - My Friend - My Journey - My Story - Today
I AM DIVORCED
I, who was afraid,
Am not afraid now
My divorce is final
I remember the walk well
Down the aisle
Down life's roads
I remember the promises made
I know the promises broken
Left right now are,
Memories
Thoughts
Plans gone astray
I, who was afraid
Am not afraid now
The door has closed
Will another open?
Will I be stronger?
For this experience
Will I grow
To become a better man
I, who was afraid
Am not afraid now.
Be gentle with me -
For I am bruised and broken
In places you will never see.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Top of page
MY FRIEND
YESTERDAY
It's a warm summer day, blue skies, fluffy white clouds
floating by, a gentle warm breeze flows over me.
I can feel the heat of the sun on my face as I listen to the playful
chirping of birds in the background.
TODAY
I am standing alone at the edge of a cliff, hundreds of feet from the
jagged rocks that take a daily beating from the crushing waves.
My back is to the cliff, my feet dangerously close to edge.
The wind picks up a little; I can feel it pushing me,
I fear to step forward away from the danger.
My balance is being tested, my stability challenged. I fear that just
another second and I will lose the battle and fall off the cliff.
I reach out, some stability is restored, for a short while.
I attempt to balance myself, it seems too hard, I shake,
I overcompensate, I fail to regain my footing.
As the wind grows stronger, as keep trying by myself,
as I continue to reach out, I feel my hold give way.
Surely in the next few breaths I will fall.
My mind races, computing options, considering solutions,
asking myself, what's happening?
My right foot slips, surely this is it - the end -
I close my eyes as I give up the struggle.
TOMORROW
Suddenly, I feel a touch.
I open my eyes and look to my side.
It's you!
The friend I left behind years ago.
Your hand on my shoulder helps me regain my balance.
Tears fill my eyes as you smile in my direction.
You take my hand; we walk away from the cliff.
Away from the danger.
To enjoy the day, and each other.
Look in any dictionary, read any book,
discuss the concept with scholars.
You will never understand the definition of a friend,
Until,
you meet my friend.
Could I have walked away from the cliff by myself?
Maybe…
Could I have regained my own balance?
Possibly…
Will I ever be able to describe the touch of her hand?
Never…
Could I ever find another person, who accepts me as I am?
and is happy with, just me?
Really, really doubt it…
I know I am responsible for the way I feel,
And no one can influence my feelings if I don't let them,
But…
To have my friend by my side,
Belittles the word and the feeling - awesome.
I need say nothing to her,
She need not reply;
We have just spoken volumes
to each other.
We walk together
Into the future.
Top of page
MY JOURNEY
I lost me,
Lost my love for life
Lost you dear wife
I misplaced
My caring nature
The ability to nurture
Gone away
Is my belief in me
Just how can this be?
I need
To go back inside
And trust what I find
Oh where
Did I go wrong,
Why do I write this song?
I know
I’m out there somewhere
I’m in here somewhere
I smile
Considering the journey I’m on
Trying to find someone called John
I trust
I will hold my head up high
And in my search, I reach for the sky
I love
Bits of me and mine
It’s gonna take some time
It’s gonna take time,
To reclaim what’s me and mine.
It’s gonna take me,
To open my eyes and see.
I know a lot of work is ahead,
I’m told, it’s all in my head.
Some don’t see me and I don’t care me,
I know I’m in there somewhere,
Gonna find me somewhere.
Should I look inside you?
Did you keep some of us and me with you?
Some of me here, some of me there
Able to smile and feel like I do
Able to speak out loud
Wanting to help again
Holding out my hand again
Yeah, that’s me
Not so lost as I once thought
Smiling cos I love life
Enjoying the moment
Feeling good about me
Yeah that’s me
Not so lost as I once thought
Life is a journey
Come along with me
Discover the best of me
It’s always like that you see
So from the start,
Where are we at?
I have found bits of me
Some bits here some bits there
So what did I find?
I’m a good man
A caring lad
I enjoy others when they smile
Hope to make them smile when they canny
Like lending a hand
You know, when I can…
A caring gentle thoughtful man
A loving peaceful outgoing man
Not so lost as I once thought
Not so lost as I was taught
Not so lost as I was taught
So come on my journey
Come along with me
Discover the best of me
I’m always like that you see
Top of page
My Story
I’d love to tell you of my sad, oppressed life,
But unfortunately
I made the decisions
I didn’t consider the consequences
I am responsible for me and the way my life turns out
So……
I don’t have a “poor me” or heart wrenching story for you
I have no story of oppression, no sad tales to tell
I keep all those stories for me because it would disrespect others
Instead I have experience and knowledge to which to draw from
I have memories to recall in times of emotional turmoil
I have thoughts and feelings about everything that I have caused to happen
I will take my bits of the past
Learn from them
Grow because of them
I take responsibility for who I am
I accept the consequences of what I have done in my life
No one held a gun to my head
No one physically forced me to make any decisions about my life
I choose
I live
I grow
And
I am happy with me
Regrets?
Sure I have them
I have them because I hate to hurt people
And I have done things that caused people hurt
But those people must deal with this hurt
Learn to grow from it
Learn to use this experience in their own future
I am not responsible for how anyone else feels
I regret having lost so much
But I realize
It’s not the things that matter in life
It’s the people I have in my life that matter
I regret having said a lot of the things I have said
But life is a learning experience
I have learned to weigh my feelings and
chose my words more carefully
I regret having lost some of the people in my life
Then again, if they are lost because of things I said or did
And have decided not to be in my life, that is there decision
I have something to offer, and anyone that can see
this remains in my life
So, if I have lost short sighted, shallow people,
then I should not regret it
The loss of some hurts me emotionally
Good people came to rally and "stand by me",
so I need to wonder, did I really lose?
Do I really need to regret
There is a story about Scotland that I love to recall
It’s how the clans once battled amongst themselves
But should a common enemy threaten any one of them
Then the clans gathered as one, as one mighty force
Gathered to defeat the common foe
One for all and all for one.
I am John
I continue to grow and learn
I am better than I was and will be better than I am now
I am John
And I am proud of it
I am John
And I thank me for accepting the things I cannot change
I thank me for changing the things I can
I thank God for teaching me the difference
I am John
Will my story be continued?
Sure it will
Because I will continue
I will continue
To be happy
To be satisfied
To be content
To have peace
I will continue to say
I am John
Top of page
TODAY
Today I stood quietly
As everything moved quickly around me
It was only then I realized
How beautiful this moment is
I caused people to smile as I smiled at them
I felt the breeze on my face
And felt alive
I did not ponder the past
With all its mistakes
I did not wonder of the future
With all its possibilities
I enjoyed the moment
The peace
The serenity
It was wonderful
I felt at peace with the universe
I felt at peace with me
Today I saw a picture,
In this picture
I sat in the garden
A warm summers day
A single rose was blooming at my side
The sun on my face
The air clean and fresh
I watched quietly as the sun set slowly
Today I saw the stars
A warm night
No streetlights, no distractions
I was asked a question
The sky black, illuminated with light
“Uncle John, are all these stars yours?”
I smiled with a tear in my eye
Answered, “yes, they are”
Today I woke up
Rested, happy, warm, loved,
I have peace with myself
With God above
With my people
And my world
Today is a good day
Today is my day
Enjoy it, one and all.
Top of page
A sneak preview of my future can be seen in songs
The preview is of my emotional and social life
The songs are already located on my page
Has been since the pages were born
Their identity will be revealed soon
I am John
Top of page
Guestbook - Contact me - Recommended by
My Webcam
From the outside in.
I Am Divorced - My Friend - My Journey - My Story - Today
I AM DIVORCED
I, who was afraid,
Am not afraid now
My divorce is final
I remember the walk well
Down the aisle
Down life's roads
I remember the promises made
I know the promises broken
Left right now are,
Memories
Thoughts
Plans gone astray
I, who was afraid
Am not afraid now
The door has closed
Will another open?
Will I be stronger?
For this experience
Will I grow
To become a better man
I, who was afraid
Am not afraid now.
Be gentle with me -
For I am bruised and broken
In places you will never see.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Top of page
MY FRIEND
YESTERDAY
It's a warm summer day, blue skies, fluffy white clouds
floating by, a gentle warm breeze flows over me.
I can feel the heat of the sun on my face as I listen to the playful
chirping of birds in the background.
TODAY
I am standing alone at the edge of a cliff, hundreds of feet from the
jagged rocks that take a daily beating from the crushing waves.
My back is to the cliff, my feet dangerously close to edge.
The wind picks up a little; I can feel it pushing me,
I fear to step forward away from the danger.
My balance is being tested, my stability challenged. I fear that just
another second and I will lose the battle and fall off the cliff.
I reach out, some stability is restored, for a short while.
I attempt to balance myself, it seems too hard, I shake,
I overcompensate, I fail to regain my footing.
As the wind grows stronger, as keep trying by myself,
as I continue to reach out, I feel my hold give way.
Surely in the next few breaths I will fall.
My mind races, computing options, considering solutions,
asking myself, what's happening?
My right foot slips, surely this is it - the end -
I close my eyes as I give up the struggle.
TOMORROW
Suddenly, I feel a touch.
I open my eyes and look to my side.
It's you!
The friend I left behind years ago.
Your hand on my shoulder helps me regain my balance.
Tears fill my eyes as you smile in my direction.
You take my hand; we walk away from the cliff.
Away from the danger.
To enjoy the day, and each other.
Look in any dictionary, read any book,
discuss the concept with scholars.
You will never understand the definition of a friend,
Until,
you meet my friend.
Could I have walked away from the cliff by myself?
Maybe…
Could I have regained my own balance?
Possibly…
Will I ever be able to describe the touch of her hand?
Never…
Could I ever find another person, who accepts me as I am?
and is happy with, just me?
Really, really doubt it…
I know I am responsible for the way I feel,
And no one can influence my feelings if I don't let them,
But…
To have my friend by my side,
Belittles the word and the feeling - awesome.
I need say nothing to her,
She need not reply;
We have just spoken volumes
to each other.
We walk together
Into the future.
Top of page
MY JOURNEY
I lost me,
Lost my love for life
Lost you dear wife
I misplaced
My caring nature
The ability to nurture
Gone away
Is my belief in me
Just how can this be?
I need
To go back inside
And trust what I find
Oh where
Did I go wrong,
Why do I write this song?
I know
I’m out there somewhere
I’m in here somewhere
I smile
Considering the journey I’m on
Trying to find someone called John
I trust
I will hold my head up high
And in my search, I reach for the sky
I love
Bits of me and mine
It’s gonna take some time
It’s gonna take time,
To reclaim what’s me and mine.
It’s gonna take me,
To open my eyes and see.
I know a lot of work is ahead,
I’m told, it’s all in my head.
Some don’t see me and I don’t care me,
I know I’m in there somewhere,
Gonna find me somewhere.
Should I look inside you?
Did you keep some of us and me with you?
Some of me here, some of me there
Able to smile and feel like I do
Able to speak out loud
Wanting to help again
Holding out my hand again
Yeah, that’s me
Not so lost as I once thought
Smiling cos I love life
Enjoying the moment
Feeling good about me
Yeah that’s me
Not so lost as I once thought
Life is a journey
Come along with me
Discover the best of me
It’s always like that you see
So from the start,
Where are we at?
I have found bits of me
Some bits here some bits there
So what did I find?
I’m a good man
A caring lad
I enjoy others when they smile
Hope to make them smile when they canny
Like lending a hand
You know, when I can…
A caring gentle thoughtful man
A loving peaceful outgoing man
Not so lost as I once thought
Not so lost as I was taught
Not so lost as I was taught
So come on my journey
Come along with me
Discover the best of me
I’m always like that you see
Top of page
My Story
I’d love to tell you of my sad, oppressed life,
But unfortunately
I made the decisions
I didn’t consider the consequences
I am responsible for me and the way my life turns out
So……
I don’t have a “poor me” or heart wrenching story for you
I have no story of oppression, no sad tales to tell
I keep all those stories for me because it would disrespect others
Instead I have experience and knowledge to which to draw from
I have memories to recall in times of emotional turmoil
I have thoughts and feelings about everything that I have caused to happen
I will take my bits of the past
Learn from them
Grow because of them
I take responsibility for who I am
I accept the consequences of what I have done in my life
No one held a gun to my head
No one physically forced me to make any decisions about my life
I choose
I live
I grow
And
I am happy with me
Regrets?
Sure I have them
I have them because I hate to hurt people
And I have done things that caused people hurt
But those people must deal with this hurt
Learn to grow from it
Learn to use this experience in their own future
I am not responsible for how anyone else feels
I regret having lost so much
But I realize
It’s not the things that matter in life
It’s the people I have in my life that matter
I regret having said a lot of the things I have said
But life is a learning experience
I have learned to weigh my feelings and
chose my words more carefully
I regret having lost some of the people in my life
Then again, if they are lost because of things I said or did
And have decided not to be in my life, that is there decision
I have something to offer, and anyone that can see
this remains in my life
So, if I have lost short sighted, shallow people,
then I should not regret it
The loss of some hurts me emotionally
Good people came to rally and "stand by me",
so I need to wonder, did I really lose?
Do I really need to regret
There is a story about Scotland that I love to recall
It’s how the clans once battled amongst themselves
But should a common enemy threaten any one of them
Then the clans gathered as one, as one mighty force
Gathered to defeat the common foe
One for all and all for one.
I am John
I continue to grow and learn
I am better than I was and will be better than I am now
I am John
And I am proud of it
I am John
And I thank me for accepting the things I cannot change
I thank me for changing the things I can
I thank God for teaching me the difference
I am John
Will my story be continued?
Sure it will
Because I will continue
I will continue
To be happy
To be satisfied
To be content
To have peace
I will continue to say
I am John
Top of page
TODAY
Today I stood quietly
As everything moved quickly around me
It was only then I realized
How beautiful this moment is
I caused people to smile as I smiled at them
I felt the breeze on my face
And felt alive
I did not ponder the past
With all its mistakes
I did not wonder of the future
With all its possibilities
I enjoyed the moment
The peace
The serenity
It was wonderful
I felt at peace with the universe
I felt at peace with me
Today I saw a picture,
In this picture
I sat in the garden
A warm summers day
A single rose was blooming at my side
The sun on my face
The air clean and fresh
I watched quietly as the sun set slowly
Today I saw the stars
A warm night
No streetlights, no distractions
I was asked a question
The sky black, illuminated with light
“Uncle John, are all these stars yours?”
I smiled with a tear in my eye
Answered, “yes, they are”
Today I woke up
Rested, happy, warm, loved,
I have peace with myself
With God above
With my people
And my world
Today is a good day
Today is my day
Enjoy it, one and all.
Top of page
A sneak preview of my future can be seen in songs
The preview is of my emotional and social life
The songs are already located on my page
Has been since the pages were born
Their identity will be revealed soon
I am John
Top of page
Guestbook - Contact me - Recommended by
My Webcam
From the outside in.
Guestbook - Contact me - Recommended by
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