It Ain't Half Hot Mum episode 1

Plot:
The temperature is rising, and the heat is becoming unbearable for those in the Royal Artlliery Depot. The Concert Party all have Prickly Heat and are laying in their beds. In the office, Ashwood is trying to write a letter to his wife.

          Ashwood: "Oh, it's a dash nuisance! I'm trying to write a letter to my wife, and the sweat keeps
                           dripping off my face and smudging the ink!   I shall have to start all over again now!"
          Reynolds: "I shouldn't bother. Just put 'PS I Love You' and she'll think it's tears."

The Sgt-Major doesn't see the need for the concert party to stay in bed, and gets their attention by banging dustbin lids and ordering them to parade. He explains to them that they are British and that they should fight and defy the Sun.

          Graham: "But the Sun isn't an anatomical entity, it's an inanimate object. How can we possibly
                         fight it Sgt-Major?"
       Sgt-Major:   (mocks) how can we possibly fight it Sgt-Major???? Let me tell you Gunner La-De-Dah Graham
                         the British Army can fight anything! Intimate or not!!"

After a bit of visual Sun-defying, the Sgt-Major makes the concert party take their Salt tablets. to make sure that they do take them and swallow them, he orders them to put them in their mouths at the same time, then chew, take a sip of water, and chew more, then swallow. He then inspects their mouths to make sure. After a challenge from the concert party that no one could eat more than three salt tablets without being sick, the Sgt-Major decides to prove that he can as he is a man, and eats six, all crunched as well! He struggles, but manages to do it, and dismisses the men. Within a few moments he has walked around the back of a building to be sick.

Later, he has them digging a trench around the camp to keep any monsoon rain from flooding the area. He mocks them, and leaves them to their digging. The men decide to have a tea break and all climb out of the trench to have a cupoa, but Lofty gets left behind as he cannot climb out on his own. When Lofty has managed to get out, the sun has started to have an effect on him, and he rants about how much he hates the Sgt-major. The others think nothing of it at first, and don't bat an eyelid as he builds his lifesize dummy of the Sgt Major. But as soon as he starts to bayonet it, they take notice and Lofty says that he feels as if he has the strength of ten men, and that he is going to strangle the Sgt-Major. He leaves them, and they decide that there is nothing to worry about as there is no way that Lofty could get close enough to strangle the Sgt-Major. Lofty soon returns with a can of Petrol, and asks for a match which he is given.    He then makes his way to the hut where the Sgt Major is and douses the building in petrol, and is stopped from throwing the lit match by the concert party.

The next day, the Char Wallah and the Punkah Wallah watch Lofty dig a pit, put wooden spikes in the bottom, and then cover it up. They rush back to the others to tell them, and they all try to get to the pit before Lofty gets himself into serious trouble.
Meanwhile Lofty calls for the Sgt-Major and tells him quite forcefully that enough is enough,a nd it's time to settle it like men. The Sgt-Major finds it quite humourous, and detects that Lofty is suffering from the Monsoon Madness. After a bit more of an exchange of words, Lofty calls the Sgt-Major "yellow" and "fish face", and proceeds to run in the direction of the pit closely followed by the Sgt-Major.   The Concert party manage to jump in front of the Sgt-Major and prevent him from falling into the pit.

Lofty is under arrest and brought before the Colonel, who has everything explained to him about the Monsoon Madness. But the Colonel is not too sure, and as there is no physical proof, he asks Lofty what he has to say on the matter. Lofty replies by singing a few lines of a song back to him. The Colonel decides to have him put in the hospital, pending a medical report.
Later that night during the show, Lofty escapes from the Hospital, and armed with a large mallet, hides backstage ready to strike on the Sgt-Major. He gets within a few inches of the Sgt-Major, and is about to brink down the mallet, when there is a crack of thunder, and the madness clears. Lofty doesn't know what has happened, and the show is interrupted by a downpour through the roof on Nosher's line "Water, Water! For God's sake give me water!"