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Anya: Welcome to Dimitri Tonight! Dimitri called in with a sore throat (poor baby) so I'll be your guest host for the night, Anya. And what a night it's going to be! I'd like to welcome Johnny Bravo, star of the hit cartoon series of the same name, and Pepe Le Pew, an animated classic! Welcome to both of you.Johnny: Hey pretty mama. It's great to be around such hot stuff as yourself. ::flexes his muscles::
Pepe: Bonjour, ma cherie! You are, as we zay in Paree, tres belle!
Anya: Can we get a translator out here? Sophie?
Sophie: ::eating a creampuff:: Oui?
Anya: Why don't you translate for Mr. Le Pew tonight?
Sophie: Ooh la la! I'd love too!
Pepe: Ahhh, what a French beauty you are, my little kitty! ::starts kissing her arm:: Zo sweet! Zo clever! We will never part again!
Sophie: ::giggles!::
Johnny: Can I get a mirror out here? I want to check out my manly pecks!
Anya: Let's get down to business. Mr. Bravo, you've been one of the higest rated cartoons on Cartoon Network for quite a few years now. What does it feel like to be such a hit?
Johnny: Kinda like kissing a hot chick on a cool night while combing my perfect hair.
Anya: ::pause:: Moving on. You're quite famous, Mr. Le Pew, for both your debonair outlook and your, er, odor. What's it like to be such a mixture of sweet and, well, sour?
Pepe: ::kissing Sophie:: Mwah Mwah!
Sophie: ::giggles!::
Anya: Mr. Le Pew? Johnny, get his attention for me.
Johnny: Anything for you, pretty mama! ::taps Pepe's shoulder::
Pepe: Oui?
Johnny: WHOA MAMA what's that smell?! P.U.!
Pepe: Non non, not "P.U.", "Le Pew". Pepe "Le Pew".
Johnny: What are you, a monkey or something?
Pepe: A monkey?! How dare you insult my honor! You do know that zees means war!
Johnny: War? What the heck is war?
Anya: Oh good grief.
Sophie: ::munches a creampuff::
Pepe: I zhall take ten paces, then turn! We will fight it to the end in the name of decency, in the name of deference, and in the name of honor! ::dramatic pose!::
Johnny: What happens after we turn? We get some chips to munch?
Pepe: ::pause:: I zuppose I will not waste my time on you when there are so many people to love! We will have to zettle it zome other way!
Johnny: I bet I can catch more cute chicks than you!
Pepe: What, with your sloppy American Beef-o ways?! Never! Zee French such as myself know zee best!
Johnny: Do not.
Pepe: Do too.
Johnny: Do not.
Pepe: Do too.
Johnny: You're on! ::strikes a pose:: Hey Pretty Mama. ::puts his arm around Anya:: If you're good maybe I'll let you be my number one squeeze for the night.
Anya: I'd rather eat a worm. ::whacks him!::
Johnny: ::lands against the wall:: I think she likes me.
Pepe: Non non! That iz not how you catch a woman! ::jumps up on the table:: Ohhh my sweet little bird! ::kisses Anya:: I love you, my darling! ::kisses:: You and I zhall make zee sweetest kind of love! ::kisses:: My little sweetie!
Anya: ::holds her nose:: Thank you for being so kind, Mr. Le Pew, but really, I'm married.
Johnny: Married?! Holdddd on a sec. Who married you and didn't tell me?
Pepe: I will fight for you, my love!
Anya: Moving on once more. Mr. Bravo, you've been in all sorts of outrageous situations on your show, usually stemming from your idiotic chase after women who are at least fifty times smarter then you. What was your most enjoyable scenario?
Johnny: Living on the planet of love, baby. The women of Estron wanted me as their King, and I was all for it! Until I got sent back to Earth in favor of Mel Gibson.
Anya: Mr. Le Pew, you've become the symbol for hopeless romantics, the poster boy for unrequited love -- do you think you'll ever win the girl?
Pepe: Win zee girl?! I have won all of zee girls! Not a woman on zee Earth could resist me! Right my little pink skunk?
Sophie: ::giggles!::
Anya: Oh brother.
Johnny: Wanna' see me open a coke can with my head?
Anya: Not particularly.
Pepe: ::flirting with Sophie:: And I can sing as well! Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques, dormez-vous, dormez-vous, sonnez les matines --
Johnny: Who's this "Freeray Jackees" guy? Some sort of bug?
Pepe: Ugh! No culture at all! And you call yourself a ladies man!
Johnny: Heyyyy I was an artist in one episode!
Pepe: You made BUTT PRINTS, you imbecile!
Anya: Please, please, gentlemen...
Pepe: You bring shame to we lovers of love out there! For love iz zomething beautiful, zomething romantic, not zomething involving HAIR GEL!
Anya: If you two would just listen...
Johnny: Does this mean I don't get to come back next month?
Anya: If all of you don't SHUT UP I'LL MAKE YOU SHUT UP MYSELF!
Johnny & Pepe: ::quiet::
Sophie: ::quiet::
Studio Audience: ::quiet::
Anya: ::straightens her hair calmly:: Thank you. Now back to the interview. Mr. Bravo, you've never caught a girl before, but you have been Mayor of a City.
Johnny: Yeah, I even got to wear one of those weird Egyptian head thingies.
Anya: So you've been very fortuitous with your show. Who do you attribute your success too?
Johnny: My dear old Mama, of course. The only woman who's stood by my side through thick and thin.
Pepe: Can we zay "Mama's Boy"?
Johnny: Look you little monkey, I'll take you out right -- ::smells something:: After I eat those jelly doughnuts! Ohhh Mama! ::runs to the refreshment table::
Anya: ::puts head in hands!::
Sophie: He's getting jelly all over my new tablecloth!
Pepe: I will zave your tablecloth, ma cherie! Stop, in the name of love!
Johnny: Wasn't that a song or something?
Pepe: Into battle I go, for my zweet little pet! Away! Away! I may not return, my love, but zomeday we will be together again! As long as you hope in me --
Sophie: Can you just get my tablecloth already?!
Pepe: ::begins to sing triumphantly as he 'marches' into battle:: Allons, enfants de la Patrie! Le jour de gloire est arrive! Contre nous de la tyrannie! L'entendard sanglant est leve! ::pose!:: I do zo love zee French anthem!
Anya: ::grabs Sophie's tablecloth away from Johnny's jelly covered hands herself:: IF WE CAN PLEASE CONTINUE WITH THE INTERVIEW! Mr. Bravo, did you enjoy working with the cast of Scooby Doo on one of your more recent episodes?
Johnny: Mi Mloved Mit.
Anya: What?
Johnny: ::swallows doughnuts:: I loved it. That Daphne -- whoaaa mama! Is she ever a fiesty little piece of love! She couldn't resist my stunning looks, my manly way of talking, my heartthrob attitude.
Pepe: But zhe could easily resist his big head!
Anya: Mr. Le Pew, who in the Looney Tunes world is your best friend?
Pepe: Oh, everyone iz my best friend! I just do not see them often for zome reason. I come around and everyone screams "P.U."! Perhaps they do not hear me when I zay it's Pepe "LE PEW".
Johnny: You just keep thinking that, Little Monkey Boy.
Pepe: If I did not believe in love, not war, you would be gone by now, fiend!
Johnny: Wanna' arm wrestle????
Pepe: ::shocked look:: ARM WRESTLE?!
Johnny: Sure. I can show off my huge muscles to this sweet mamasita over here. ::motions to Anya::
Anya: Okay, that's it. ::grabs the phone, dials a number:: Hello? I don't care if you can't talk! I don't care if you have a fever! Get over here!!!!
Johnny: Who was that?
Anya: MY HUSBAND!
Johnny: Whoaaaa I'm not staying around for no husband! I'm outta' here! ::runs!::
Pepe: A HUSBAND?! I zhall stand strong for you, my love. When he comes at me with the weapon, step, step, step, each step coming closer to my heart, I zhall zay to him --
Anya: The show's over, Pepe.
Pepe: It iz?! But! But!
Anya: GOODNIGHT everyone! Tune in next month when Dimitri -- who will HOPEFULLY be back (he better be!!!!) -- interviews Cale Tucker from Fox's newest animated film, "Titan A.E.". Until then, keep visiting and enjoying Anya's Journey!
DIMITRI TONIGHT
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