And then another thought came to her.
I don’t have any clothes on.
Of course, because her mind was in its right state she remembered everything.
Everything… oh, that was a nice thought.
She relaxed again but the gesture seemed to wake him up.
Paul was of course, only half-aware of the soft body in his arms. He shook his head a bit and turned away from the stream of sunlight that slipped across his pillow.
Gabrielle nearly said something but her voice caught in her throat as Paul’s forehead rested against hers, a tuft of velvety black hair tickling her temple.
Wow, this was heavy.
She was suddenly struck by how childlike he was in general. Not just in appearance. When he was asleep it was like looking at a little boy, defenseless, pure and vulnerable.
She knew Paul to be none of these things. He nearly had more defense mechanisms then John, he was generally the one who took advantage of the vulnerable, and pure. Fuck. Paul was so not pure, on so many levels, it wasn’t even funny.
But despite what she knew about him, it was almost irresistible watching him wake up. IN the back of her mind she knew that his arms were wound around the small of her back, or various other *things * that she would normally notice. She was concentrating on his eyes. Wanting to see what it looked like when they opened. Her hand trailed up his back in an attempt to wake him further.
He moaned lightly and his eyes fluttered open, revealing the deep pools of green flecked hazel beneath. Really, they fluttered. Like a girl’s were supposed too.
She bit her lip as he looked down at her and raised his eyebrows in surprise
"Oh, hi" he whispered
"Hey" she whispered back.
Paul blinked at her a few times. Unsure what to at first. He settled for pulling her a bit closer and resting his face in her hair "I’m tired" he mumbled
"Yeah" Gabrielle agreed
He shifted his face so his lips were next to her ear. It sent shivers of joy…no, shivers of hormonal joy down her back.
"Are you all right?"
"I fine" she sighed and removed her hand from around his waist to play in his hair. That was all so much hair was good for. Playing with it and running your hands through it. Of course it didn’t exactly hurt that some how all that hair was a turn on.
"Are you sure?"
She tried to think about what he was talking about, instead of thinking only of his lips moving gracefully against her ear "Hmm?"
Paul gave a low husky laugh that only served to turn Gabrielle on even more as it brushed against the side of her face. This was getting really ridiculous.
"I said, are you sure you’re ok?"
"Oh" she nodded and tried to look at him. He pulled away from her ear and hovered over her face in what would usually be far to close to talk to a person.
"Well" Gabrielle continued. Great. Now she didn’t even know what she wanted to say. Something about how they shouldn’t do this anymore. Yeah, well, if she couldn’t control herself it wasn’t like Paul was going to try.
"This is really weird" Paul murmured
Gabrielle’s eyes went wide "Yeah" she agreed, his noes was possibly a half a centimeter away from her own. She wanted to kiss him again like she had last night.
"You’re really throwing me here Gabby" he sighed, his eyes closed and her turned his head away.
"Wah.." Gabrielle blinked, confused. Wait..no… What? Huh? She finally got the word out, an incredulous "Huh?"
He looked back at her and her face muscles went slack again. It was far too much work trying to look confused and trying not to kiss someone at the same time.
"You" he shrugged "It’s fucking mental"
"What is"
"* YOU*" he said again, with more pressure on the word.
"Me?" she repeated "Why? You’re the one looking all…Gah, fucking cunt. What *are* you on about?"
"I don’t know" Paul exclaimed, he flopped away from her, which wasn’t actually very far considering hey were both squeezed into a single bed. "Yer fucking with me head or something"
"You’re fucking with my head!"
He looked at her and laughed "What?"
"You" she said again, much like he had " Looking so, gah, I can’t even look at you. *WHAT* is wrong with me, my uterus must be like, fucking deformed. I look at you and all that comes to mind is sex. It’s fucking ridicules. You’re asleep, I want to fuck you, you wake up and stare at me, I want to fuck you. And then" she laughed sharply "You’re all breathy and lovely against my ear and I want to *rape* you. What is wrong with me!"
His eyebrows arched up so high in surprise Gabrielle thought they might disappear into his hairline "Really?" he asked, "Me too"
"You mean…" she trailed off "Ah…"
"Every time I look at you all I want to do is fuck" Paul sighed "It’s really sad"
"I know" she shook her head "What’re we going to do?" she paused for a minute and gave him an evaluating look "You wouldn’t rape me would you?"
Paul laughed "It’s not as if you’d say no if I tried"
"That’s true" she consented "But what if-"
Three sharp knocks on the door "Paul!"
Paul slapped a hand over Gabrielle’s mouth. They looked at each other and then down at the various states of undress.
"Fuck off Mike!" Paul yelled, still holding his hand over Gabby’s face
There was a pause before Mike started knocking with more fervor "Paul!" He shouted "D’you have someone in there?"
"No!"
"You do though I heard you all night"
Gabrielle winced. They were going to have to work on that. It seemed to give them away every time.
"Fuck off!"
"Hah!" Mike stopped his incessant knocking "You did, I knew it"
"Yeah, Mike, Whatever Go away"
"Who is it?"
"Mike, Sod the hell off, All right?" Paul reached around the edge of the bed, trying to find his discarded boxers. Gabrielle mentally planned how she was going to climb down the trellis
"Is it Megan?"
"No!"
"It’s not?"
"Ok it is" Paul rolled his eyes and shrugged at Gabrielle "It’s Megan"
Mike laughed "Is she naked?"
"No, she’s wearing a fucking Parka Mike, now fuck off or I’ll have John fuck you up"
It was commonly known amongst their little clan/entourage that Mike was deathly afraid of john. No one knew why. John was really intimidating to Mike for some reason. Gabrielle reckoned it had something to do with being jealous of all the time Paul spent with John.
"Fine" Mike muttered. He was gone.
Paul sighed "I hate that kid"
"No you don’t" Gabrielle rolled hr eyes "He’s just yer brother. At least you have one you know"
"Well at least you have a-" Paul trailed off suddenly. He held a ball of squashed up materiel in his hands. She could make out her knickers and grabbed them.
At least you have a mother. At least you have mother. At least you have a mother.
Nononononononononononooononononononononnononononon….
Paul watched her. Something had just clicked on in the back of her mind. Something that he hadn’t meant to do. He knew what that was like. Suddenly realizing they were never ever ever coming back and you just had to get used to the world without them in it. But every time you so much as thought bout it a pressure would start behind your eyes and you would cry. So you gathered all those feelings and set them aside. You didn’t think about it. Unless you were caught off guard.
"Hey" he said softly, as she sat up, now with knickers on. "I didn’t mean that"
"I know you didn’t" she said stiffly "But I don’t care. I’m all right"
He shook his head "Fucking hell, Gabby, I *know* Ok, I get it"
Her shoulders slumped forward. He expected her to start crying. Bawling and exclaiming and general hysterics. It’s what he would have done.
Instead she looked up at him and smiled weakly "I know you do" she nodded "But for some reason it doesn’t help. And you know what I mean. Because I can’t help you either, Paul. You know?"
He nodded. Maybe no tears was worse the hysterics. "I know" and then despite himself. He had to ask "So… does, you," Paul looked down at his hands "Does George make you feel better then?"
She was quiet for a moment and then she nodded her head
Paul grinned "Great, then next time you get all moppy all have him cheer you up so we can fuck like rabbits"
She giggled and nodded "What d’you mean next time"
Paul feigned surprise "Oh, d’you want to right now? Great. Let’s go" he rolled on top of her and planted kisses all over her face, sliding his hands over her body in a ravaging manner.
"Paul!" she exclaimed, giggling and laughing "Stop it, Stop. Oh my…"
He let his lips slide slowly across the curve of her jaw before looking up and giving her a cheeky grin "What?"
She looked him in the eye, trying to be serious "Stop" she said solemnly.
They busted up laughing.
"This is silly" she sighed
"It is" Paul agreed, he rolled off her and sat up, She rested her head against his chest and sighed contentedly.
"This is different, you know" he said thoughtfully
She hesitated and then nodded. "Different then last time?"
"Uh huh" he sighed "Well, you know. You started it this time"
"Yeah" she agreed
"And" he added, "We were both sober"
"Yeah"
He grinned down at her "That’s all I can think of, sorry"
Gabrielle giggled "Well… last time… it seemed.." she snorted with laughter "Different."
"I think it was meant to be" Paul said wistfully and then "Ow! Hey!" as she whacked him in the stomach.
"Don’t be daft" she told him "Why would us sneaking around be meant to be"
"Because" Paul said softly "You’re my muse"
"I’m yer Moose??" she repeated "What?"
He chuckled quietly and then seemed to get control of himself "I...no, hang on" he laughed a bit more. And then sighed "No, you’re not my moose, and you totally ruined the moment Gabby"
"Sorry"
"That’s Ok," he nodded "My muse, you know, like you inspire you"
She snorted with laughter, still taking his meaning a different way "I inspire you? For what… Wanking off?"
Paul groaned "No, music you silly cow"
"Ooooh" she nodded "I get it, sorry"
"It figures" Paul sighed "That I would get a muse who doesn’t even understand her muse-ness. You know, I got the odd muse"
She blinked at him and then cracked up. Paul rolled his eyes and watched as she pulled the covers over her face in an attempt to stop laughing. It dissolved into whimpering giggles and then lip biting and vague spurts. Then she seemed done "I’m sorry" she said at last "It’s just I keep thinking you’re saying moose." She snorted with laugher and then giggled.
"Are you finished?" Paul asked after a bit
"Uh, no... ok, yeah" she nodded "Well… what have I inspired you for then? I thought you said John and you haven’t written a song in months. I must not be a very good moose… muse" she giggled "Sorry"
"Whatever… but I did write a song"
She raised her eyebrows "About me?"
"Yeah" he nodded
"Well" Gabrielle sputtered "Is it good? I mean, if I’m going to have a song I hope it’s a good one. Ooh" she wrinkled her nose "It isn’t all slow is it? Like some stupid slow thing like George sometimes listens too and you like all that ‘Till there was you’ crap"
Paul gave her a look "You know, some people would be happy just to have a song"
She laughed: "Not me, McCartney, I know I’m never getting rid of you."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, I’m never leaving George" she shrugged "And he worships you, so you know. I’ll probably still be stuck with you when I’m all old and hangy"
"D’you think we’ll be sneaking around and shagging then too?" Paul asked, grinning
"Fucking hell, no. I hope I die before I get to sixty"
"Ah, what make you say that?"
"Macca" she said dryly "How does me song go?"
"Oh right" Paul cleared his throat "Uh, it’s like one two three four, that fast" he said tapping the rhythm out against the mattress "Well she was just seventeen, she’d never been a beauty queen, and the way she looked was way beyond compare, one two three, now how, could I dance, with another, yeaaaah, when I’m ..dah dah dah… da dum."
Gabrielle opened her mouth to say something but he shook his head "Well she, looked at me, and I, oh I could see- that before too long-I’d fall in love with her-Now, how could I dance with another, yeaaaah, when I da dah duh dada duh" he nodded "That’s it"
"That’s it?" she asked incredulously
"Well" Paul scrambled "It isn’t finished"
She nodded "I noticed"
"Hey!" Paul laughed "Be happy you have a song"
"Oh sorry" she shrugged sheepishly "It was lovely, you need to fix the da duh daa bits"
"I know" he sighed "John’s trying to help but I all ready know how it should go, you know?"
Gabrielle blinked ‘"No"
"Well, I do, I can hear it in my head" he looked at her intensely "I have the tune in my head, and it’s like I know how the words should go but I can’t… say them… you know? Like it’s there but I don’t have it yet"
Gabrielle stared at him. She suddenly realized that the something special John eluded every time you got with in ten feet of him, Paul had too. That sort of blinking light over their heads. He heard music in his head. That was something.
"What?" he asked, aware that she was staring at him openly
"Um" she grinned and cleared her throat "If I’m the muse what does that make you?"
He shrugged "Dunno, the inspired I guess?"
She grinned and hugged him "I’m so lucky! I got a musical genius for my inspired one"
"Musical Genius" Paul laughed "I hope so"