Gabrielle sighed and stared at the ceiling above her bed. She chewed impatiently on one of her fingernails, feeling as though something wasn’t right. She pushed up the strap of her nightdress that kept falling down about three times before getting angry and sliding out of the bed.
Seven. Well that was early by her normal standards but she had class at noon.
Gabrielle padded over to the full length mirror by the closet and stared at herself. There was something … off. And it wasn’t just the mascara smudged under her eyes creating a racoonish look. It wasn’t the way her hair fell at odd angles from the high pony tail that was now holding maybe two inches of her shoulder length hair.
She looked… ill. Her face was drawn, even if she didn’t notice it and she’d dropped an entire stone (14 pounds) in the past two months, without meaning to. It was starting to become apparent as her normally lithe body looked sicker and run down then anything else. Mike had noticed. Maybe she *was* getting too thin. But Gabrielle hadn’t noticed until he pointed it out. It was an odd feeling, to feel like something was wrong with her physical appearance. Gabrielle had never….never, ever, *ever* felt insecure about herself. She didn’t like feeling as if there was something abnormal with her.
Eric had suggested they go on holiday to St Martin, an island in the Caribbean. She’d turned him down, thinking it was some sort of excuse to get closer to her or something. She’d liked Eric a lot. He was lovely. Just… not steady relationship material. And neither was she, so why was he looking for that kind of girl in her?
Eric had said nothing about her weight. What had Mike said?
“You’re wasting away, Gabby” he told her while they got high in the bitter New York cold on top of her roof.
“Neh” she waved him off and took a hit off the joint they were sharing “I’ve always been tiny. Me Mum was too. It’s nothing”
He shrugged “You are though. And I mean… are you doing it on purpose…”
She groaned and flopped on her back on the little blanket she was sitting on “No.”
That had been the end of the conversation. Honestly, Gabrielle was not some sort of food deprived Model or something… She wouldn’t do that to herself. Why was she obsessing with this. She *ate* She ate all the time. This was no big deal. Maybe she should just get rid of Mike. Not see him anymore. He didn’t like how she looked, fine, he could get stuffed then.
Her mind was reeling and a sudden pain coursed through her head. She issued a soft Squeak of pain and put her hands to her head. She would eat. She always ate. It wasn’t her fault she wasn’t really hungry. Wasn’t there pills? She … yes. They did it. They made you not hungry. Well that wasn’t her fault. That wasn’t her doing. She didn’t decide to take them for that. Not like other people.
Gabrielle sunk down to the floor as her head exploded into pain. She took calming breaths trying to get rid of the headache by massaging her temples. Oh gooooood.
As the pain subsided she looked up at her self in the mirror. Not really *that* skinny.
She climbed to her feet determined to make herself a large breakfast before she left for School. She slid out of the room and walked with purpose to the kitchen, ignoring the young man sleeping in her hallway that possibly belonged to Montana.
Trixie was in the kitchen sitting on the kitchen counter, her blonde hair tucked behind her ears messily. She was staring down at a slowly burning cigarette in her hand.
“Hey Trix” Gabrielle offered as way of greeting
“Hey” Trixie said, snapping out of her day dream and taking a drag off her cigarette.
Gabrielle opened the fridge and scanned it looking for eggs, bacon…bread… jam… butter? It seemed there was about fifteen cases of beer, eight bottles of white wine, and four bottle of cheap champagne. Gabrielle made an aggravated sound and swung the door open to look in its compartment. One apple. One onion. One bar of chocolate.
She stared at the food for a bit and sighed. Apple and chocolate were her options.
She chose the chocolate and pulled the wrapper back.
But as she brought the candy to her mouth her stomach churned as if saying “euuh…. No.. I’m not hungry”
Gabrielle lifted up her night dress to look at her stomach. Flat as anything, nearly concave, and only 22 inches around her seamstress said. Was that good? Or bad? A few of her ribs were plainly visible. “Hnn… “ she muttered “I l*look* hungry. Come on, you can eat this”
Trixie blinked at her roommate. Well… she’d stranger things then a short British girl talking to her stomach “Pregnant are you?” she asked, taking a drag off her fag
“What?” Gabrielle looked up
Trixie giggled at her joke and rolled her eyes “never mind. Hey, where’s you get those underwear from, they’re cute”
Gabrielle blinked “Marks and Spencer” she said blankly before dropping her nightdress down and taking a determined bite of the chocolate. She managed to eat the whole thing and then sat up on the counter with Trixie, talking about, Bob Dylan.
“He scares me” Trixie shuddered
“No, he’s all right. It’s all for show his whole act. I can tell, you know”
“Eh” Trixie shrugged “He’s still scary”
Gabrielle shrugged “Do you think I’m too skinny?” she asked
“Uh. No” Trixie blinked “You look about the same as me. Why? What makes you ask?”
“Oh” Gabrielle shrugged “I was just thinking. You think I’m normal?”
“You’re normal” Trixie assured her, tapping the ash from her fag out on the kitchen floor. Gabrielle sighed uncomfortably and pressed her fingers to her forehead. “My head hurts”
“Take some Speed” Trixie advised, exhaling a cloud of smoke delicately
Gabrielle nodded and hopped of the counter. She ambled over to the vase near the oven and pulled out a film canister containing amphetamines. She shook out several and swallowed them without the aid of water and then joined Trixie back on the counter.
“I’m” Trixie inhaled sharply on her cigarette “Board” she exhaled
“Are you famous yet?” Gabrielle asked, they both busted up laughing
“Where’s Montana?” Trixie whined
“Right here” Said the unmistakable voice from behind Trixie, the older girl poked Trixie in the side and giggled. “I’m board too”
“I have to go to class soon” Gabrielle muttered
“Oh… student!” The other girls shouted, laughing
“Just because you dropped out after a month…” Gabrielle mumbled
“Two months” Montana grinned “Thanks, very much”
Gabrielle shot her a look “I like learning.”
They groaned.
“I have a better idea” Montana got a craaazy look in her eye that made Gabrielle and Trixie want to run away and find out what she had in mind all at the same time.
“What” they asked in unison
“Let’s go to California!”
“Yeah!” Trixie enthused,
Gabrielle frowned “Why would we want to go there?” she asked
“I hear there’s quite a rock n roll scene out in San Francisco” Montana winked “You old rocker you. You know you want to go find out who’s who in California. Everyone’s heading out that way anyway, Joan Baez”
She was nice” Gabrielle nodded
“Bob Dylan”
“He’s scary” Trixie shook her head “And *I’m* a *much* better guitar player then him. I still can’t get a record deal”
“Well come on!” Montana laughed “We’ll get you a fucking record deal in California”
Trixie beamed “You think?” she asked Gabrielle
Gabrielle laughed “yeah, lets go.. wait” she sneered “How do you propose we go. Going to fly are we?”
“No, silly .Half the fun is getting there” Montana said mysteriously
“Hitch hiking?” Trixie asked hopefully
“Driving” Montana rolled her eyes “Come on Gabby, you can see fucking America! It’ll be an adventure”
“Ok” Gabrielle nodded happily “Sounds groovy”
“Groovy” Montana shook her head at Trixie “Where does she come up with these things?”
“When are we leaving?” Gabrielle asked
“Um” Montana looked at her watch “How about now?”
“Ok” Gabrielle nodded “Shall we pack then?”
“Yeah, lightly. The van’ll be down front. I nicked it off Megan for a couple of weeks in exchange for some coke”
* * * * * *
AN: I just wanted to make a note that this is for the most part historically correct. The way everyone is acting is correct. Some dates, like Bob Dylan making it big, or Brian introducing the suits to the Beatles, or Marijuana becoming everyone’s favorite past time-- they may be off by a few weeks, months, years. But for the most part are correct.
